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-   -   How Do You Deal With Other People (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1490976)

5littlesweeties 02-11-2013 08:59 PM

How Do You Deal With Other People
 
Y ds is 18 months tomorrow and still happily nursing. I still feel comfortable with nursing and had a goal of at least 18 months so I'm happy to have met our goal. I have support from my family and dh of course to keep going and this is my last baby so I'm in no hurry but I find myself feeling almost ashamed for friends to breast feed around others. Not ashamed like I'm doing something wrong but just knowing other people have a problem with it bothers me. I hate that it bothers me, I know I'm doing what's best for him and I recently switched LEDs because mine retired and at his 15 month appointment she mentioned weaning so I find myself stressed thinking about his 18 month well check. Anyway, more then anything I just don't like having to explain myself. Does anyone else feel this way?

dancingingrace 02-11-2013 09:21 PM

Re: How Do You Deal With Other People
 
I'm not nearly as far along as you are, but I can relate. My YDD is 3 mos, and my first to be breastfed (I tried with my first, but had lots of problems). Obviously, I'm not to the point where people expect me to stop doing it right now, but...my mom has asked how long I plan to, just in general converstion, and when I tell her that I don't plan to just stop at a year just because we've hit a year (I mean, assuming we make it that long), she gets kind of surprised...she's not critical of me at all, I know she'd support me in anything, and it is more of a situation where she isn't familiar with going that route, but she always mentions how she couldn't imagine my 2yo having breastfed for that long. Honestly, I can't imagine that right now either, but only b/c this is my first time, and I'm only 3 mos into it, KWIM? Another instance is us only EBF'ing so far, no bottles or anything. My mom wanted me to go to a show with her this month, but I couldn't have brought the baby, and I'm not really ready to stick her on a bottle, nor do I have a pump or any milk for her. We couldn't go to the show in the end anyway b/c of the weather, so it became a non-issue, but before, my mom was like, "Well, I just thought she'd be able to go on bottles by now". Again, I'm not at all hurt or put out by my mom b/c she's honestly my biggest fan, but I think for me, it kind of makes me second guess myself because I am still new to this, and I don't know if I'm being too extreme or something...and I know the longer I go, the more I'll be getting that kind of stuff from others. :hugs:..sorry this was so long, but just wanted to say that I can understand!

kim-RT 02-11-2013 09:32 PM

Re: How Do You Deal With Other People
 
I got asked everywhere I went when will I stop BFing. Just told people I love it and will continue until DD wanted to stop. I got crazy looks but I didn't care. I did what was best for my child. We never used a bottle either so that bummed DH since he couldn't bond with her that way. I stopped at 2 years only because we were TTC. DD is almost 3 and every now and then she will try to see if I have any milk..lol. Do what works for your family mama. Hugs.

qsefthuko 02-11-2013 09:41 PM

Re: How Do You Deal With Other People
 
I did a bit with each of my kids. It was a large part of the reason I weaned my oldest when I did. I was being pressured by my husband and mother to wean. Now mind you my daughter was nearing 4 years of age so not a small baby anymore. Still, neither she nor I were ready to wean. My second was almost 4 when I was uncomfortable nursing. I think popular opinion had some to do with that as well. This time I plan on ignoring popular opinion and letting my youngest wean when he is ready without any encouragement from me. This being my third it is a bit easier to ignore the nay sayers. But, I am in different area with a different group of friends. They have not accustomed themselves to my "strange ways" yet. Sometimes I think it would be easier to be back in our old congregation where everyone was used to me and my "strange" ideas. By the time we moved they were just like,"Oh, that's just her. She is just a bit different." It is okay to be different or "strange". We don't have to be the same to be friends. It does take an adjustment period though for people to get used to me and my being just a bit different. None of them have any idea what crunchy means. Nor did they ever consider extended breastfeeding, baby wearing, co-sleeping, or cloth diapers(one did do cloth).

birdinhand 02-11-2013 11:24 PM

Re: How Do You Deal With Other People
 
In the whole scope of the human lifespan, 18 months old is still a baby. It's too bad our society has such a focus on independence and growing up and being okay alone. You still have a baby on your hands.

It can take a lot of guts to go against the grain. You are doing what is right for your situation and your family and that doesn't have to be the right answer for anyone else.

One thing I learned pretty early on was, I wanted to "educate" people, and they hd no interest in that, often they felt I was trying to rationalize my decision. So I stopped that and decided it wasn't my job or problem to help them see the light, lol.

We moved away from family when my son was a baby, so when we would return, the in-laws would say something about when he wa going to wean. I would get a dumb-face on and say, "Oh, you think he is too old to nurse? Everyone I know in Chico nurses their babies this long. I guess I never thought about it. Hmmm...." Then looked lost in thought. Basically, I tried to put it back onto them that they thought it was different, and tht was odd to me, lol.

Sometimes when people asked when we would wean, I would say, "I didn't tell him when to be born, when to walk or talk, I guess I look at breastfeeding as another milestone he will approach when ready, I don't feel like I need to make the one-sided decision to end that relationship." That was usually if I felt ballsy. ANd hey, you know how tey say, "Grow a pair?" Well I have grown 4 pair, so there. :)

lyia81 02-12-2013 10:25 AM

Re: How Do You Deal With Other People
 
The great thing about being a parent is that ultimately you can make what you believe is the best choice for your child. If you have any people that want to give their opinion, ask for their reasons why they believe you should stop. In response, give your reasons why you believe you should continue.

mama2tommy 02-12-2013 10:38 AM

Re: How Do You Deal With Other People
 
I guess I'm lucky that I never had a negative experience except when I was accosted for NIP in church (but it was a bitter old lady, so whatev...)

I pumped at work until DS was 2y3m...and no one said a thing. We pretty much cut out NIP except for extreme situations around 18-22 months. He self-weaned at 3 years.

If a doctor encouraged me to wean, I'd be finding a new doctor. BM is NEVER not beneficial. The longer you nurse, the longer your babe will benefit. For example, I nursed until I was 7. My brother self-weaned at 4.5. My sister was around 6.5. We simply DID NOT get sick. We went to c-pox parties all the time in the 70s, and didn't get c-pox until we were pre-teans...our immune systems were simply too strong to let it in.

BM is beneficial in cancer patients...it can reverse cancer cells.

So why on earth would a doctor ever suggest NOT nursing???

AniMommy 02-12-2013 10:44 AM

Smile and nod. Look thoughtful. Then change the subject. It's best to pick a topic the questioner loves so they forget about their question.

birdinhand 02-12-2013 10:54 AM

Re: How Do You Deal With Other People
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by AniMommy (Post 16280021)
Smile and nod. Look thoughtful. Then change the subject. It's best to pick a topic the questioner loves so they forget about their question.

I love it :).


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