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preparedforsurvival 02-26-2013 05:24 AM

Need Advice
 
I need some advice - I homeschool and to get some more help with the reading I got involved with this homeschool academy. Well the last 3 times we have went I noticed that the moms were treating me different - Not sure why, but you KNOW. Now I am noticing that the kids are treating my son - 6 yrs old - different too. Like avoiding him. They had him crying yesterday. He wanted to play with them so bad. I called him over and made up some excuse that they had something to do for their class and got him on a game on the kindle. so he sat there the whole time. Treating me bad is one thing but my kids I get like a mother lion and want to lash out. And I had overheard them talking yesterday and now find out that all of them and their kids are going to some big play together. they never invited me or little man. One of the reasons I got involved with this was so that little man had interaction with other kids. I just don't know what to do. My head is telling me to just come out and ask , but I am scared that would make it worse for little man. I am actually crying right now. I know I haven't done anything or said anythign to anyone to make them mad. we are not as well off as all of them and only have one car. I sometimes have to take a taxi home. could they just be snobs? I just can't stand to see anyoen hurting my son.

7mom7 02-26-2013 06:37 AM

Re: Need Advice
 
That's awful. I think groups like that should be just as much support for moms as for kids. HS moms really need time to connect with adults that are in a similar life situation. As much as those situations are awkward I'd probably start by asking why he wasn't invited to the play. Maybe that will open the door for more detail.

We recently joined a HS group that had been together for a few months already. They welcomed us with open arms and really made a big effort to get to know us. Money shouldn't be an issue and if it is for them I probably wouldn't want my kids around that anyways. Are there other groups that might be an option or could you start your own group? If you've had this experience with them it's likely others may have too.

HeatherlovesCDs 02-26-2013 07:49 AM

Re: Need Advice
 
I'm sorry that is happening. If you have someone in the group who you feel slightly closer or more comfortable with, I'd ask them what they think. If not, I'd ask the leader of the group. If it continues, I'd look for a new group. :hugs:

Designsbybequi 02-26-2013 10:20 AM

First of all , so sorry!! There is definitely something wrong with them, not you. There is no reason to be that way with a child or adult no matter what color they are or what they wear or drive!! I had the same experience with one homeschool group here. A mom sent out an email to the whole group to meet her at a movie. I responded that I'd meet her and she UNinvited me saying my kids were too young and would 'ruin' the movie for her kids. It made me cry too. Movie theatres are public places too and my kids are very good, better than hers in the behavior dept. I was in their co-op and in the preschool. I had my baby in a sling on my chest and a large three year old boy had a diaper full of poo I was unable to change well. I found the mom who was in the elementary room and asked her for her help/ she was on break and it was her kid! She gave me such a nasty look and said it was my job and walked away! Needless to say, I never went back and left the group forever! Just nasty people. They were all 'Christian' too in their heads. No fruits there IMO. I joined another one and they were nicer but still a little weird socially, but nice at least. I just put my kids in dance classes at the YMCA and met friends there. Church activities could provide friends or a flag football, soccer group, swimming class, etc. I pray you find some friends because I got really lonely homeschooling with a husband working all the time. I know how you feel. So sorry. Don't give up. Leave the mean ones to themselves and keep looking for new activities. One will be a good fit I'm sure. Good luck!

MDever 02-26-2013 10:48 AM

Re: Need Advice
 
:hugs: They SUCK!! We have seen and heard about very similar issues with hs groups and coops here. They ime tend to be very clickish. We had to take a break from the crazy. I am so sorry to hear that other families are having similar issues. It seems like all of the groups around here are church based and the members all attend together and knew each other before. There was one secular group but it got pretty big and sadly the coop created a "highschool" like environment for the parents. There was SO much drama including anothe mother being verbally assaulted in front of my then 5yo and me being physically threatened by another parent because I asked her to please ask her children not to get physical with my children. Such a shame that there is not more support for our families.

RainandRedemption 02-26-2013 04:11 PM

Re: Need Advice
 
:( :hugs:
They could be snobs. They could be a really "clicky" group. There is one hsing group here that I've met with several times and no one EVER talks to me. I leave feeling like I never should have gone. Im really shy though so I know IM acting weird and kinda antisocial too.
One thing to remember is that THEY are not the end all be all of hsing groups. You could find another one, or start another one.

I'd start with introducing myself though. Maybe at the next meeting just decide you dont give a rip what these ppl think, walk up and say "hey! Im kinda new to the group and a little shy so I havent talked much to anyone yet. how are you, whats your name, how old are your kids, blah blah" :)
One thing to make convos a little easier (Im ridiculously shy, so sometimes just saying hi to someone can have me in tears) but it really does help to make the conversation all about the other person. Ask a lot of questions. Ppl love to talk about themselves

bai18176 02-26-2013 07:19 PM

So sorry mama! That's so terrible :(. I've had it go both ways for me. One group was just a little strange and cliquish. I never quite broke into it. I'm also a little on the shy side, but it was hard for me and my kids to be excluded too. The group I'm in now is so fabulous! I'm so grateful for every single one of them! There is hope out there, and other groups. I hope you can find a group you click with! It's great when you do!


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