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-   -   When to stop babying your babies?? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1502540)

theonenonlymrssmith 03-22-2013 03:43 PM

My first son will be 5 this weekend. He is about as tough as it gets, and he is built like a football player. My DH was deployed for the first 2/3 years of his life. Honestly, "single" parenting with out a break, left me over stressed, and I was a bit hard on him (unintentionally) I never babied him, unless he was sick, or just normal cuddling. He got lots of love, but. If he fell, I mostly ignored it unless he was truly hurt. I often said "your fine! Go play!"

Fast forward: I've got my last baby, boy number two, and while he is only 16 month old, he is the biggest sissy ever. I swear you can look at him wrong and he starts bawling like he's hurt! He is getting better, but he used to hold his breath and pass out when he was upset, so I would rush to him in hopes to catch him before he would pass out. I, sure this hasn't helped him toughen up.

Anyways, I am now stuck between my desire to keep my "baby" and my desire to make sure he isn't raised a sissy.

I would love some advice from moms of older boys!

please forgive all typos due to auto correct's lack of mind reading abilities. :-)

mibarra 03-22-2013 04:09 PM

Sounds like my girls, one could brush it off, one reacted more. I don't want them to feel like they can't get the comfort they need. With my more sensitive girl, I'll ask her to come to me if she thinks she's hurt, give her a hug and kiss, then ask if she's ready to play. 9/10 it's taken care of in 2 seconds. I wouldn't push it too much at that age personally. Both my girls went through a super hypersensitive stage around then.

escapethevillage 03-22-2013 05:10 PM

Re: When to stop babying your babies??
 
I do think parenting can make kids more "fragile", but often, it's just who they are no matter what.

Socializing helps a little.. they eventually just act like their friends. But, for now, maybe he's just still being a little boy.

kannondicarpo 03-22-2013 05:20 PM

Re: When to stop babying your babies??
 
I give a lot of credit to personality. Mine have had the parenting and my second (who is a girl) is SO sensitive. She's maturing but still so much of it is personality.

I'm a fan of BOYS and babying mine so I understand what you are feeling. I'd give it another couple months to give him time to mature out of this phase and go from there. :hugs:

cbreeding 03-22-2013 09:45 PM

Re: When to stop babying your babies??
 
My middle child (DD2) is very sensitive. I know I did things differently with her than my first (just by being 2nd with a toddler around) but not all that different and she still runs and hides if you raise your voice to her. She doesn't scream or shout like my first one either, she puts her head down and has big crocodile tears running down her face in an instant. Just different personalities.

l_Kimmie_l 03-23-2013 06:05 AM

Re: When to stop babying your babies??
 
I have 4 boys. My oldest was babied a long time and turned out just fine. He will be 16 in May. He was just much more sensitive than my other boys and as his mother I nurtured who he was. It worked best for us. He is not a sissy at all. He still is very sensitive emotionally, but that is who he is. He is a star football and basketball player with all A's.

mommabritt 03-23-2013 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by l_Kimmie_l
I have 4 boys. My oldest was babied a long time and turned out just fine. He will be 16 in May. He was just much more sensitive than my other boys and as his mother I nurtured who he was. It worked best for us. He is not a sissy at all. He still is very sensitive emotionally, but that is who he is. He is a star football and basketball player with all A's.

I have the same dynamic. My oldest has always been a sensitive, tender hearted child who needed a lot more reassurance from me. I gave it to him. He is now 10 and still a reserved boy but he is confident and make straight As and is a great athlete, and still needs reassurance from time to time. His brothers however (5 and 7) are silly,fun loving, mischief making boys. They like to laugh and will do nearly anything to create fun. They don't require as much emotional support from me, just my willingness to allow them to entertain themselves. ;)

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3 ladybugs 03-23-2013 06:14 AM

Re: When to stop babying your babies??
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by escapethevillage (Post 16425166)
I do think parenting can make kids more "fragile", but often, it's just who they are no matter what.

Socializing helps a little.. they eventually just act like their friends. But, for now, maybe he's just still being a little boy.

:yeahthat: Honestly I have had to fight so hard for every one of my pregnancies that I don't see me NOT babying my children for a while. My son (outside of me) is 4.5 and my mom is constantly getting onto me about babying him. He is a bit more sensitive, but if he gets mildly hurt, I don't freak out about it. As long as he isn't bleeding or blue, I can deal with it.

I think a lot of this has to do with his personality though. He is tougher with Daddy then he is with me, but he is also sensitive quite often too. We can "tease" (tease as in joke, not taunt) him and he will get embarrassed or whatever easily. So we really try not to do that.

How is your younger son with your DH or other often seen relatives? Is he better with them then he is with you? Sometimes children just put on an act for us. There was one day where DS and DH were outside playing on his playset. DS fell off his rock climbing wall and I didn't see it, but came out 2 minutes later. DH told me what happened and as soon as he did, DS, who was fine with daddy, started crying like he was really injured. So clearly DS was different with me, then he is with DH.

theonenonlymrssmith 03-23-2013 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3 ladybugs

:yeahthat: Honestly I have had to fight so hard for every one of my pregnancies that I don't see me NOT babying my children for a while. My son (outside of me) is 4.5 and my mom is constantly getting onto me about babying him. He is a bit more sensitive, but if he gets mildly hurt, I don't freak out about it. As long as he isn't bleeding or blue, I can deal with it.

I think a lot of this has to do with his personality though. He is tougher with Daddy then he is with me, but he is also sensitive quite often too. We can "tease" (tease as in joke, not taunt) him and he will get embarrassed or whatever easily. So we really try not to do that.

How is your younger son with your DH or other often seen relatives? Is he better with them then he is with you? Sometimes children just put on an act for us. There was one day where DS and DH were outside playing on his playset. DS fell off his rock climbing wall and I didn't see it, but came out 2 minutes later. DH told me what happened and as soon as he did, DS, who was fine with daddy, started crying like he was really injured. So clearly DS was different with me, then he is with DH.

He can be sensitive with his dad but not as bad. He definitely puts on a show, for instance, him and his brother were playing a little rough and he was laughing up a storm! I was watching them, and as soon as he noticed I was watching, he started screaming like his older brother was hurting him, and he immediately ran over screaming to "comfort" nurse. So I am pretty sure a lot of it is for "show" and its not something I want to encourage if that is truly the case.

please forgive all typos due to auto correct's lack of mind reading abilities. :-)

Dmpmercury 03-23-2013 11:24 AM

Re: When to stop babying your babies??
 
Swooping in to save kids and babying them can affect them but some kids are just sensitive and it has nothing to do with parenting. I have kids that react to everything. I don't make them feel bad for the way they react but I also don't go overboard and just act laid back when they are overreacting to a minor thing. I just tell them they will be OK and ask if they want a kiss especially when they were toddlers. I don't think telling a kid that they need to man up or toughen up is good in the long run.


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