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-   -   Tell me about chores/rewards (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1554205)

sizzlemom 10-29-2013 01:57 PM

Tell me about chores/rewards
 
My boys need a better system- my current system of giving check marks is not working. They are 3.5 & 6. It works for the 3.5 year old. Not at ALL for the 6 year old. Thought about giving "tokens" for ipad/kindle time?? Just not sure that would work for the 3.5 year old. Have you separated out reward systems??? :banghead:

Give me your thoughts!!!

stevensmom 10-29-2013 02:05 PM

I've heard accountable kids is great reward system.

***I know how to write, my iPod does not***

7 for now 10-29-2013 02:12 PM

I don't give regular rewards for doing chores. They are expected of them. We do punish for not doing chores. Depending on the child is the punishment. My 8, 6, and 3 yo will have to go to bed as soon as diner is over, that is the kiss of death for them! I will take my 13 yo phone from her. My 10yo will have to sweep the dining room, kitchen, and foyer under my supervision.

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syfitz 10-29-2013 02:30 PM

Re: Tell me about chores/rewards
 
We take away privileges when chores are not done. No rewards. Chores are just part of life.

ETA: my 12 year old doesn't really care about many privileges, so she gets extra work assigned if she slacks off on her chores. My six and eight year old care about tv, so they will lose that. My 15 year old is lost without her iPod, so she loses that when her chores aren't done.

ktmelody 10-29-2013 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 7 for now (Post 17020762)
I don't give regular rewards for doing chores. They are expected of them. We do punish for not doing chores. Depending on the child is the punishment. My 8, 6, and 3 yo will have to go to bed as soon as diner is over, that is the kiss of death for them! I will take my 13 yo phone from her. My 10yo will have to sweep the dining room, kitchen, and foyer under my supervision.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

Quote:

Originally Posted by syfitz (Post 17020785)
We take away privileges when chores are not done. No rewards. Chores are just part of life.

ETA: my 12 year old doesn't really care about many privileges, so she gets extra work assigned if she slacks off on her chores. My six and eight year old care about tv, so they will lose that. My 15 year old is lost without her iPod, so she loses that when her chores aren't done.

This.

Take stuff away. Chores are not rewarded here. They just do them. Extra chores (garage cleaning or yard cleaning) can earn money.

Stick to it. Just keep showing them how to do it and expect it to be done.

mommagruber 10-29-2013 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by syfitz
We take away privileges when chores are not done. No rewards. Chores are just part of life.

ETA: my 12 year old doesn't really care about many privileges, so she gets extra work assigned if she slacks off on her chores. My six and eight year old care about tv, so they will lose that. My 15 year old is lost without her iPod, so she loses that when her chores aren't done.

This!
We also assign extra chores when they slack, because somedays the lack of privileges just isn't enough.

JennTheMomma 10-29-2013 03:10 PM

No rewards here either. If they didn't pick up when told then what is not put away gets taken for a few days

sizzlemom 10-30-2013 01:04 PM

Re: Tell me about chores/rewards
 
Thanks ladies! I am going to try this method.

DesertRat 10-30-2013 02:32 PM

Re: Tell me about chores/rewards
 
Is it okay if I hijack this thread with my own question?

The last year or so I've been a lot better about having my kids help out with chores. My oldest (DS7) will sometimes have a great attitude and sometimes he fights it tooth and nail. Assigning him extra chores for not getting his chores done sends him into this downward spiral of anger and attitude. It's terrible and definitely not at all effective. How do you deal with a kid who does that?

neonalee 10-31-2013 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DesertRat (Post 17023174)
Is it okay if I hijack this thread with my own question?

The last year or so I've been a lot better about having my kids help out with chores. My oldest (DS7) will sometimes have a great attitude and sometimes he fights it tooth and nail. Assigning him extra chores for not getting his chores done sends him into this downward spiral of anger and attitude. It's terrible and definitely not at all effective. How do you deal with a kid who does that?

Do you ever try losing privileges add mentioned above, rather than extra chores? We've found that much more reliable with my teen SD. And if it results in extreme (some is expected and ignored) attitude the privilege hours away longer. It took a couple times experiencing that we were serious and she got better.

Also we were very clear and upfront that this was going to be happening before it happened the first time. Meaning, during a calm time we let her know that the next time x happened/didn't happen, she would lose y. And she got a warning the first time or two.

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