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-   -   Expecting and already dreading BFing (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1583960)

MamaChirpy 05-19-2014 08:58 AM

Expecting and already dreading BFing
 
Help! I'm already despising the thought of breastfeeding again. I had a miserable experience with Baby1. Gave up after 8 weeks. I had serious thrush and didn't know it. I was defeated before I got started after Baby2. Gave up because I was too exhausted (and still uninformed) to try with him. Baby3 I dug in, learned about thrush and persevered until 14 months. Yay! But y'all... I hated it. I was so glad to give her the great nutrition, was happy I was feeding her the way God designed me to. But it hurt every time for 6 solid months. And then after that, it still hurt a lot. So I'm dreading it this time around. I don't have a pump. I don't know that I can afford a pump. I have used a hand pump occasionally. Like 3 times. I had a cheap electric that broke that never worked well. My body never responded well to pumping BUT I never had a good one either. It also seems like pumping would take up so much more time.
Anything you can suggest to help?
I want this baby to have the best nutrition but my first two are very healthy today and they Had mostly formula.

mamabby 05-19-2014 09:16 AM

no advice but I'm having some of the same feelings of dread. feeding ds was a nightmare at first, bad latch and thrush. I was bleeding, I cried every time he needed to nurse. for a few Weeks I had to pump one side because my tissue was so sore. somehow we made it through that (with a good lactation consultant) but I really think it contributed to my post partum depression.

I'm just hoping it is a little easier next time around

MamaChirpy 05-19-2014 09:23 AM

Re: Expecting and already dreading BFing
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mamabby (Post 17372357)
no advice but I'm having some of the same feelings of dread. feeding ds was a nightmare at first, bad latch and thrush. I was bleeding, I cried every time he needed to nurse. for a few Weeks I had to pump one side because my tissue was so sore. somehow we made it through that (with a good lactation consultant) but I really think it contributed to my post partum depression.

I'm just hoping it is a little easier next time around

Wow. Makes my trials seem much less. In my humble opinion, I would think that definitely contributed to your PPD. I can't shake the feeling that if I don't breastfeed, I'm not being the best mama I can possibly be. But at the same time, I can read your story and tell you this:
A happy mama is much better than an upset mama. So if BFing is hard to the point it makes you unhappy, feed that baby a bottle and call it a day!! You love your child. It matters more how you treat them and less what you feed them. Their lives are more than milk in the first year. :)
So don't stress about it. Feed them how you want to.

How can I tell you that (and I do mean it) but not relax on myself?
Ahhhhh!!!!!!!

mamabby 05-19-2014 09:30 AM

aw I know what you mean, mama. we are much harder on ourselves than we are on other people. mom guilt is so hard. I have never batted an eye at my IRL friends that switched to bottle feeding when bf got too hard. for some reason I couldn't cut myself that same slack.

y'samma 05-19-2014 09:54 AM

Re: Expecting and already dreading BFing
 
Same here. I had a bad latch and was bleeding too. A nipple shield and the pump saved my life. We never bought a pump, just borrowed 1 from the hospital till my nipples were healed. My mom was the one who supported me through this horrible experience. I found out that having somebody to encourage you makes all the difference. I was ready to give up by the end of the first month but my mom held me up and I ended up nursing ds till he turned 2. This time I am planning on getting my nipples prepped before hand(massaging them with a nipple cream, I hope that helps with the process), getting a pump and making sure we have the right latch. My insurance covers the pump, so call your insurance if they do that or cover the rent for borrowing 1. I wish you all the best this time round.

MamaChirpy 05-19-2014 09:55 AM

Re: Expecting and already dreading BFing
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mamabby (Post 17372370)
aw I know what you mean, mama. we are much harder on ourselves than we are on other people. mom guilt is so hard. I have never batted an eye at my IRL friends that switched to bottle feeding when bf got too hard. for some reason I couldn't cut myself that same slack.

What is IRL?

And thank you. :)

MamaChirpy 05-19-2014 10:00 AM

Re: Expecting and already dreading BFing
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by y'samma (Post 17372394)
Same here. I had a bad latch and was bleeding too. A nipple shield and the pump saved my life. We never bought a pump, just borrowed 1 from the hospital till my nipples were healed. My mom was the one who supported me through this horrible experience. I found out that having somebody to encourage you makes all the difference. I was ready to give up by the end of the first month but my mom held me up and I ended up nursing ds till he turned 2. This time I am planning on getting my nipples prepped before hand(massaging them with a nipple cream, I hope that helps with the process), getting a pump and making sure we have the right latch. My insurance covers the pump, so call your insurance if they do that or cover the rent for borrowing 1. I wish you all the best this time round.

Do you have any idea what pump is best? All I have ever heard is Medela is best. But I don't know how old that info is.
My insurance only pays for a pump if you work which I don't. (Hubby is breadwinner here.)
But I never thought of renting a pump from hospital to see if pumping would work for me. Thanks! Great idea! I think that may be the compromise I have been looking for. Thanks so much again!

tkeegan 05-19-2014 10:10 AM

Re: Expecting and already dreading BFing
 
I sympathize with you. I had low milk production (no pain) which was so difficult.

I would recommend a sympathetic lactation consultant. Meet with them before you give birth for suggestions and to have them on hand. I found one that charged me $35. She let me call her several times after the baby was born for free (no charge).

La Leche League meeting were also great support.

A pump is great to have on hand. I loved Medela Freestyle. I luckily was given one.

MamaChirpy 05-19-2014 10:16 AM

Re: Expecting and already dreading BFing
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tkeegan (Post 17372410)
I sympathize with you. I had low milk production (no pain) which was so difficult.

I would recommend a sympathetic lactation consultant. Meet with them before you give birth for suggestions and to have them on hand. I found one that charged me $35. She let me call her several times after the baby was born for free (no charge).

La Leche League meeting were also great support.

A pump is great to have on hand. I loved Medela Freestyle. I luckily was given one.

I hired a doula with my last baby who was supposed to help with BFing. She did a tiny bit but was really lacking. The nurse at the hospital was the biggest help and greatest blessing. And I also saw a breastfeeding specialist doctor when the pain wouldn't go away. But still... I don't want to do it if it hurts again!!!!
Maybe I'm just whining? But I will look into renting a pump to see if I can pump with any success this time.
Thank you for the advice! It does help to have support.

carriek38 05-19-2014 02:57 PM

Re: Expecting and already dreading BFing
 
A lactation consultant may be able to help you find a used pump free or cheap. Medela is great & they carry them at many stores, but there are other good ones out there, too. I have a Hygeia; it's a closed system pump, so safe to pass along, & I think recyclable, too. It works well for me, but I've never used anything else.

And really, what works well for you is what works. My DP nursed out first, but had low supply...she cried the first time she gave DD a bottle of formula, but it didn't do her any harm & both of us wish we would have supplemented earlier. I've been (almost exclusively) bfing our twins for just about 6mos. I am so touched out...I don't enjoy it & I'm gently trying to limit my needier baby's incessant night nursing. I'm definitely considering supplementing for no other reason than I want to. I understand the guilt, really I do. But it's really not only what's best for baby; it's what's best for you, too, and what's best for your family as a whole. If it's bfing, great...but it's also fine if it's only for a short while, or supplemented, or all formula...I, personally, would rather lovingly bottle feed (formula or expressed milk) than resentfully nurse. We had some rough spots at the beginning & I even considered exclusively pumping for my vampire baby...it ended up working out once she got a little bigger, but I would have switched if needed.

Also, check whether it's legal for your insurance to ask whether you're working. You could be working FT or not atall...all they need to know is that your DH pays his portion of the premium; it's the same policy regardless. Even if they deny based on your employment, you might be able to appeal that w/ support from your doctor based on your past difficulty. Don't just accept the no.


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