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-   -   Special needs mamas, ? for you... (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235148)

allycat 09-26-2007 01:00 PM

Special needs mamas, ? for you...
 
I'm sure some of you read my post about my dd. She hasn't been diagnosed yet (Possibly aspergers?, emotional issues, or something else) and we are still finding resources to help her and what the best route would be. Anyway, I have a family member that is supportive, but also doubts there is anything wrong with my dd. Dh and I don't want something to be wrong with her, we just see a lot of things going on with her that don't seem "normal" and we want to get it checked out. This family member has my dd (and other kids) over once a week or more and she says that she is pretty good there and doesn't have a problem. She said that we must see more than she sees. Sometimes I question myself because of this and wondering if we are making a molehill out of nothing. But I really do think something is wrong. I start to doubt myself though. Any of you have this experience?

geckoed 09-26-2007 01:09 PM

Re: Special needs mamas, ? for you...
 
yes we did. My son saw a SLEW of people. They all diagnosed him with something. Autism, Aspergers, Adhd + sensory integration disorder + emotional immaturity + speech delay (ummm add that up whats it look like to you?) etc etc. Not ONE said he was normal. All but one said he'd *never* be in mainstream classes. Still, our friends and family said he was fine, just being a boy, just a late talker, etc etc.
Its hard. It gets easier.

togg_mama 09-26-2007 01:13 PM

Re: Special needs mamas, ? for you...
 
We've gone through the same thing. I just smile and say "thanks for encouraging me! We're just checking it out because my mommy radar is screaming." Then I smile and move on. I don't have to convince anyone about what is best for my child.

allycat 09-26-2007 01:24 PM

Re: Special needs mamas, ? for you...
 
Thanks ladies:) SOrry that you all are going through the same thing, but glad that I'm not alone. I really needed the encouragement today:goodvibes:

rwooley 09-26-2007 01:28 PM

Re: Special needs mamas, ? for you...
 
I am going thru the same thign right this moment!:hugs: I know it is hard to see your child not "normal". We donot have a diagnosis yet either, I want her to be fine more than anything,but at the same time I want a diagnosis so we can move foward! i know it is frustrating. PM me if you want to chat. I can always use a shoulder:hugs:

urchin_grey 09-26-2007 01:28 PM

Re: Special needs mamas, ? for you...
 
Heh. My DS has had a diagnosis since he was 10 days old (he has an actual brain malformation, so its a concrete thing, kwim? You can see it on MRI!). But, my family still loves to say that there's nothing wrong with him. They're just in denial. It pisses me off because its like it cheapens what he is able to do, ya know?

Anyway, if YOU feel there is something wrong, it will not hurt to find out - but if you let it go, you could waste precious time that your DD could have been getting help so go with your gut! :)

rebelbets 09-26-2007 01:39 PM

Re: Special needs mamas, ? for you...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by urchin_grey (Post 1845023)
But, my family still loves to say that there's nothing wrong with him. They're just in denial. It pisses me off because its like it cheapens what he is able to do, ya know?

Yes, exactly. My son has a rare chromosome disorder (partial trisomy 1), and my MIL is always saying, "There's nothing wrong with that child!" when it is obvious he is delayed. HELLO, he's three months shy of 2 and just started crawling, for crying out loud.

Not that I want something to be wrong with my kid, but you know what I'm talking about. I'm his mother, I'm aware of what he is doing, and I know when something is wrong. Not to mention that he has a diagnosed condition.

Go with your gut. If you think something is off, there is no harm in checking it out. If you're correct, you can start therapies/interventions, which will benefit your daughter immensely. You're doing the right thing.

-Betsy

Bunny 09-26-2007 01:46 PM

Re: Special needs mamas, ? for you...
 
:hugs: My DN was finally diagnosed last spring (a week after he turned 5). It's been years of struggles. Different doctors, different diagnoses. :banghead: Especially because he looks "normal" (whatever that means). I can't even tell you how many times I have heard "he's just being a boy" :hugs:

SunflowerKids 09-26-2007 01:54 PM

Re: Special needs mamas, ? for you...
 
How frustrating for you! I am sorry that you are awaiting a possible dx. I hope once you figure things out you can get your family/friends to learn more about it and begin to accept the information.

My son has Down syndrome, but we didn't have any clue that he had it until he aspirated & stopped breathing when he was 3 wks old. He was life-flighted to a children's hospital and they figured it out immediately. We were all in shock, we just had no clue. I had to literally point out his Ds traits to people to get them to believe it. I still meet people that are surprised to find out he has Ds, even though he is 3 and the size of an 18 month old, is just beginning to talk and has only been walking for a few months.

Good friends of ours found out within the past 6 months that their son has ASD and one set of grandparents is completely in denial. It has really hurt the relationship between our friends and the grandparents.

*sidenote... even though we have known about Ds for the past 3 yrs, my MIL still doesn't understand a lot about it. She recently told my husband that she was so surprised that there are adults with Ds, she thought Sean would die when he was 13!!! Nuts!*

ravenonyx 09-26-2007 02:00 PM

Re: Special needs mamas, ? for you...
 
Please stay strong, and trust your instincts.

I listened to both my family and DH's about DD1, for years. I called ECI when she was 18 months old and couldn't sit unassisted, barely crawled etc. She had therapy for a few months and "got better" as far as family and friends cared. I am SO MAD at myself for listening to them, and I feel so stupid when talking to doctors etc about her medical history and having just no acceptable explanation for why we dropped it after ECI until now.

She was delayed but progressing until right after kindergarten, and has done downhill since then. We are finally going through the process of having her evaluated, and instead of it being done easily when she was younger, now she has to miss a lot of school for the testing which may ultimately put her behind her class even more then she already is.

Trust yourself.


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