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laprettygurl 07-31-2006 12:38 PM

Parents of only one child....
What made you decide to only have one?

I had always wanted three. Pregnancy was hard, three days of horrible back labour was hard, my birth didn't turn out quite as planned and I was upset/mildly depressed for nearly a year.

I decided I can't do it again. My daughter was 100% worth it (of course) :)


jenn5388 07-31-2006 02:15 PM

Re: Parents of only one child....
I have only one child.. and I plan on having a large age gap.. but she won't be the only child forever.

I too had a horrible pregnancy, a very hard birth.. BAD PPD (and still depressed) and I still would risk it all again for another... Later... like 3 years later (my daughter will be 2 next month.. Well actually September, I forgot that it's still july)

I do like the thought of having only one.. I grew up as basically an only child (my brother and sister were about out of the house when i was born)
I never had to share toys.. I never had to share a room.. I had all of my mothers Attention. There wasn't other children in the house to fight with. lol

about the only thing I don't like about being an only child was there was no one to play 2 people games with.. the Board games I got all the time.. no one to play them with. lol

havanadaydreamin 07-31-2006 02:43 PM

Re: Parents of only one child....
I have only one child (14 months old) and really no plans to have another one in the near future. If we do decide to have another one, it will probably be in 5-6 years.

Financial reasons are one of the major reasons. We simply cannot afford childcare or anything else right now for another child. We live paycheck to paycheck now, and to add another child to the mix would not be feasible.

It also took me 4.5 years to get pregnant, and I can't handle the TTC and inevitable letdown each month when I would get AF. So, I just decided to stay on BC for the next few years just to make sure that I don't have a little surprise like DD is.

I am also a little older, so 5-6 years from now will put me in the high risk catagory. My mom was 37 when I was born back in the 70s, and it was always a little weird to have a mom that was almost the same age as my friends grandparents. She also died at age 64 when I was only 26 and I don't want to put my child through that, losing a parent at a young age if I can help it.

DD is also a "high needs" baby and I can't imagine trying to take care of another one since she demands ALL of my attention and effort right now. I don't want to take time away from her babyhood to take care of another child. It isn't fair to her, she deserves my full attention.

I was an only child at home growing up (2nd marriage baby) and I had my parents full attention. Board games were a little challenging though, LOL But I'm able to entertain myself whereas DH was one of 8 kids, and he has to constantly be entertained. He can't just read or be quiet just for fun.

escapethevillage 07-31-2006 03:05 PM

Re: Parents of only one child....
I only have one. An almost 14 year old. (I do have a wonderful step daughter too though)

I planned on having at least two.

But, I made a very very poor choice for a Father of my children. I quickly realized my mistake, and politely asked him to move out. For some reason, I couldn't bear to be one of those Moms with several kids all from different fathers. (I was not married to my ex) I didn't marry my DH until I was past the age of wanting more kids. I do want more, but when I imagine my future with a little one full time, I just don't want to do it.

I will be a step Grandma (which does NOT mean the same as Grandma) soon, and I have a houseful of wonderful daycare babies though.

christiansmom 07-31-2006 09:46 PM

Re: Parents of only one child....

My son was conceived via IVF. We were lucky that we conceived on the first try but it was an experience I do not care to repeat. Physically, I was fine - emotionally a wreck. I thought we would always only have one but now, as foster parents, we are considering adoption if the opportunity arises. We will see what the future holds.

kkweight 08-01-2006 04:44 PM

Re: Parents of only one child....
We only have one.
I want more, my body aches to have more.
I have PCOS so the fact that i have my DD is a complete miracle.
If i had a choice between just having one or having more then one i would want at least one more. my DD gets so lonely at times and she is always pretending she has a sister and brother. She wants siblings.
It has been so hard on us to not be able to have anymore. I LOVED being pregnant. Pregnancy wasnt hard but it wasnt easy for me, but overall i would go through it again and again just to have more.
On the other hand i look at my sister who has 3 kids. they struglle to provide for them. they cant havew the things that my DD is able to have. So i do enjoy being able to clothe her well and being able to get her things she wants and enjoys.

Audriannasmommy 08-01-2006 04:56 PM

Re: Parents of only one child....
dd right now is the only child. She won't be forever hopefully.

1. We need to get out of here and into our own place. Be somewhat financially secure. hopefully when dd is 5

2. Want to see a genetisist and find out what our risk is of having a baby. since dd has cerebral palsy

mommy2zander 08-06-2006 02:14 PM

Re: Parents of only one child....
We have only one for now... I originally thought that I'd like to have my kiddos close together so they could all play together, etc... but after actually having ds, I realised I didn't want to miss out on slinging Zander & really enjoying nursing him due to having another child so quickly... I still think about the pros & the cons of child spacing, even thought it's now too late to have them close! ha ha! We will have another though, hopefully ttc soon! :D

JustAugust 08-06-2006 04:40 PM

Re: Parents of only one child....
I've only got one. My pregnancy was easy, labor was not. I had back labor as well.

I guess my thought is... my son was SO worth it, I know that another child would be as well.

I don't think there is a thing wrong with only having one child though either!

Marielblewis 08-06-2006 04:50 PM

Re: Parents of only one child....
Cerebral Palsy isn't hereditary. It is brain damage that is caused by lack of oxyegen at birth. I am absolutely 100% sure that it isn't a genetic condition. It has no bearing on your future children, or even hers. She can grow up and have normal babies with no additional risks.

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