Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community - DiaperSwappers.com

Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community - DiaperSwappers.com (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/index.php)
-   Breastfeeding Support (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=14)
-   -   Aunt says feed him "real food" now???? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=29773)

8blessings 08-10-2006 07:51 AM

Aunt says feed him "real food" now????
 
hi,
I am posting this at 3 different places, so I can get alot of really good feedback from it, so if you see it at babywearer,hyenacart and diapperswappers, thats why. lol.
ok-
I was visiting my Moms house yesterday, and my 70 yr. old Aunt from out of town was there too. Aaron, who is 3 months needed to nurse, so I plopped down in the living room in the recliner and began to nurse him with no blanket- it is 103f and my moms ac was not working properly. My Aunt was in the other recliner next to me. After a minute or two, she began asking me quetions like; "Is he eating real food yet?, and when are you going to start feeding him? I fed my babies real food when they were one month old, and didnt have any problems at all, infact, they were very healthy, and loved eating, and never had stomach problems."
a bit of background info on me- I have 8 children- all of them breastfed, infact I have not stopped making milk at all- going on 17 yrs. of lactating now. The average age of self weaning in my home is 2 yrs.
yet still- when I am confronted with such questions- I am dumbfounded- puzzled, and brought to near speechlessness. How do you gently and respectfully inform your uh hum"well-meaning" relatives that we do things differently nowadays? actually "nowadays" sometimes has nothing to do with it- we do things BETTER= more healthful= putting babies wellfare first. (and even back then- some Moms breastfed and others didnt) dykwim?
I told her that I would not be starting SOLID foods, like mashed fresh banana, etc... until after 6 months of age ( I have waited longer with past babies- more like 9-12 months) and this is a recommendation form pediatricians, and to nurse for atleast a year, then wean whenever we were comfortable.
The thing is- she KNOWS this becuz she has heard it so many times b4 from me! for nearly 17 yrs now, she and everyone else in my family, knows I nurse my babies for a long time, and you would think they would know better by now. It is evidence that I am doing the right thing when none of my babies were ever sick with even a sniffle before 12 months of age (usually once I introduce "real food") and none of them had diarrhea or ear infections. Why change a good thing? my babies are perfectly healthy. Whats up with needing them to eat food as soon as possible? Is it really about that? or was she just nervous and embarrassed about me BREASTfeeding in front of her? should I hide and feel embarressed about nursing? Putting my (misled) emotions before my childs health????
ok- that sounded a tad rambly, but any input or comments would be appreciated. thankyou!

Julesmom23girls 08-10-2006 08:00 AM

Re: Aunt says feed him "real food" now????
 
I think older generations are just set in their ways and think that because it worked for them everyone should do what they did. that doesn't make it ok. I wouldn't even think twice about it. Honestly if she hasn't accepted BF yet she never will. I would only be upset by it if it came from your mom not your aunt. The only person you have to truely consider in this matter is your child, no one elses opinion really matters, they will think whatever they want anyway. You know you are doing the right thing, so just ignore the rest of them.

bellasophy04 08-10-2006 08:06 AM

Re: Aunt says feed him "real food" now????
 
ohh my! i do not know how to answer this... Since you have been bf for so long I say :thumbsup: Wow So cool. Keep doing what you are doing it is wonderful. One thing I always say regarding covering up for feeding my kids... I want both of us to be comfortable. I was feeding ds the other day and was covered when i looked at him he was covered in sweat and his little face was red. :(

As for what to say to people like your aunt...I never had th ecourage to say something even if it is polite. I usually just smile and say ahh nice for you!

sorry i can not be of much help.

Timetodance 08-10-2006 08:17 AM

Re: Aunt says feed him "real food" now????
 
I went through this with older relatives too. Thankfully my mom nursed us all to 2 years (and she is almost 70!) mom is so ahead of her time. My MIL started feeding dh peanut butter sandwiches at 6 weeks, so everyone is different.

I discovered that my relatives were not trying to get me to stop breastfeeding, they just looked at feeding the "real" food as an exciting milestone, and they wanted to be around for it. I think it is just one of those things they think is fun, not a statement on your nursing. like sitting and crawling etc.

Fither 08-10-2006 09:54 AM

Re: Aunt says feed him "real food" now????
 
i posted about this just the other day! i EBF my son, who is almost six months old. my parents and in-laws, (specifically the women in the family) told me i was being cruel to him by denying him solids so far. because they were feeding solids by now, i think it makes them insecure about their own decisions on how they fed their own children.

i think it's one of those, "well i did ______ with my children and they're just FINE!" i don't want fine for my child, i want the best. you are making the BEST decision you can for your babies, good for you. and wow, do i admire a woman who has been lactating for 17 years, that's a huge accomplishment!

(and as far as practical advice, the things i have said during these moments are, "the recommendation is to wait at least six months before introducing anything other than breastmilk" "my husband has a history of food allergies so the longer we wait for jack the safer it is for him" or "when he's hungry, breastmilk fills his tummy perfectly!")

OneFabMama 08-10-2006 10:29 AM

Re: Aunt says feed him "real food" now????
 
BTDT!!! But I have no suggestions/advice - it sounds like you handled it very well.
When my DD was 3 mo old - heck, even younger I think DHs family (the older people) would ask "when is she gonna get real food" and really it hurt my feelings like *I* wasnt enough for her and that is was fake or something. I ignored it. DHs Aunt once told me "Riley said she wanted applesauce today none of that boring old breastmilk" I was about in tears.

Marielblewis 08-10-2006 04:36 PM

Re: Aunt says feed him "real food" now????
 
I didn't breastfeed my first daughter, but I did wait until she was 5 month old to introduce any solids. My family would tell me I was starving her (nevermind the fat rolls) and they would try to sneak her food. It was particularly difficult because another family member had a baby nea her age and they fed her everything. That little boy has had allergy problems and tubes in his ears. Of course none of them believe it was because he ate too early....

babygirls2 08-10-2006 11:56 PM

Re: Aunt says feed him "real food" now????
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fither
i posted about this just the other day! i EBF my son, who is almost six months old. my parents and in-laws, (specifically the women in the family) told me i was being cruel to him by denying him solids so far. because they were feeding solids by now, i think it makes them insecure about their own decisions on how they fed their own children.

i think it's one of those, "well i did ______ with my children and they're just FINE!" i don't want fine for my child, i want the best. you are making the BEST decision you can for your babies, good for you. and wow, do i admire a woman who has been lactating for 17 years, that's a huge accomplishment!

(and as far as practical advice, the things i have said during these moments are, "the recommendation is to wait at least six months before introducing anything other than breastmilk" "my husband has a history of food allergies so the longer we wait for jack the safer it is for him" or "when he's hungry, breastmilk fills his tummy perfectly!")

I get the "I'm being cruel" from mine and DH's folks ALL the time!! I'm sick of it already. I mean who died and left them in charge? KWIM? Maddy is 6 months and we have just started to let her taste a couple of things. My MIL and my hubby's G'ma are always trying to shove "Table food" not even mashed up stuff in Maddy's mouth! they handed her a whole hot dog the other day. I mean WTH???? I freaked out! I think they know it ticks me off so that is why they do it. Now my MIL has put my hubby up to telling me to "feed" Maddy. He's made comments like "she looks hungry, why don't you give her some food?". I just say ok and plop my boob out. He says "no...I mean like food-food." I just looked at him and said "this is the only food she will be getting until she is older and her belly can handle other stuff." It just irritates me that ppl think they can shove opinions at you and criticize the way that you raise your children b/c you don't do it the way they think you should. Grrrrr :banghead: .....Ok....thanks for my vent...I needed that!!!

beenwaitingalongtime 08-11-2006 12:49 AM

Re: Aunt says feed him "real food" now????
 
Geez...even my ped said you don't really need to intro foods till DC shows interest in it and even then it's just for the sake of learning about the texture and putting things in their mouth!

I think MIL would have said something too, except when she asked the nurse when to intro. cereal and was told not till 6m, she said 'Really? I intro. it at 1w!' and the nurse said 'Thank God we're more knowledgeable about that and know that's unnecessary!' Then MIL put 2 + 2 together and said 'Maybe that's why my boys were in size 6m clothes by 4w old!' It's nice when common sense prevails every now and then!

lindsayncadence 08-11-2006 01:23 AM

Re: Aunt says feed him "real food" now????
 
ok i didnt breastfeed but that would tick me off..just tell her that what she thinks may be best for your child and what u KNOW is best are completly different and while she is entitled to have an opion u no longer need to hear it! grrrrr i WISH my mom would have breastfed i have horrrrrible stomach problems..! gr My gramma is the same way sometimes she kept cadence the other night and i was changin her b4 i left and she was trying to powder her..i said no thats ok there is just wayyy to many chemicals in that stuff....she got home horrible diaper rash and powder all over my diapers :lostit: she dont make me mad tho but ur doign whats working for u and your child and thats all that matter....i still get crap about "THOSE" diapers lol


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:05 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vB.Sponsors