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sesa70 08-16-2006 08:51 AM

Is this normal baby behavior?
My 9 month old dd is very independant. I have been wearing her since she was a newborn, and have really tried my best to form a secure attachment with her.

She is very resistant to cuddling. Occasionally she will put her head down on my chest but its rare. Mostly when I try to cuddle her she pushes me away. She also resists being comforted. When she is upset and crying, she tries to push me away when I try to comfort her. When she falls and hurts herself and I pick her up for kisses and hugs she does the same. I am not going to lie, this hurts my feelings. She also wont take food from me, other than her bottle. She has to feed herself or she wont eat it... forget even trying to spoon feed her. This is very opposite of Celeste, who was always such a cuddle bug and still is. She still sleeps with me occasionally and always wants hugs and kisses.

I wonder if this is normal baby behavior? Is it just her personality? Did I do something wrong?

I do notice she prefers me (and her sister) to other people, even dh. She doesnt go with strangers, will smile at them but if someone tries to hold her she turns to me and burys her head. IF they try to pick her up she cries until I take her back. She gets very excited and happy when she sees me come in the room. If someone else is holding her and she sees me usually she wants to come with me. She is a very happy baby, and is almost always smiling.

Trishalynn 08-16-2006 08:58 AM

Re: Is this normal baby behavior?
my older dd is exactly the same and was when she was a baby too! I think your dd is just an independant baby! my dd still doesn't cuddle much, but when she's sick or just having a bad day I get cuddles!! with dd we just decided when she needs us she'll come to us, it would really frustrait her if we tried to get her to cuddle or hold her and stuff lol. She started putting herself to bed at about 7 months old too, didn't want to be rocked to sleep anymore. I'd just put her in bed and she'd talk to herself till she fell asleep! i think your baby's completely normal!!

GracieGooseSC 08-16-2006 08:59 AM

Re: Is this normal baby behavior?
Totally normal, that's just who she is! My first DD is was like that, she was always so independent and grown up. Didn't have the need/want to be cuddled. :cry: She is now 2.5 and is starting to cuddle more, she will actually sit with me!!! Wahoo! I also have a 7 month old who is a total cuddlebug, thank goodness because I needed a cuddler. Enjoy her unique personality, she will show you affection in different ways! :goodvibes:

MommyMommyMommy 08-16-2006 09:41 AM

Re: Is this normal baby behavior?
You described my little guy to a T!!! He's almost 11 months and has NEVER been a cuddler. I breastfeed and he also has never comfort nurses....he gets what he needs and then he is outta there. It hurts my feelings to, but like you said, I know I'm his favorite person so I try to focus on that.

He also comes to me wanting to be held then as soon as I pick him up, he wants down.

I think it's just personality. some babies are born cuddlers and some aren't. But as long as he's healthy and happy and knows I'm always there for him, I try not to let it bother me.

bethkay 08-16-2006 11:33 AM

Re: Is this normal baby behavior?
My son use to be the same way. He has gotten cuddlier as he has gotten older. He just wanted to explore everything! He didn't have time to sit still and be cuddled. Now that he has more control over his enviornment, some of he's curiosity has be relieved, so he sits still some and cuddles more. :goodvibes: Which I love!:happyclap:

scwendy 08-16-2006 11:40 AM

Re: Is this normal baby behavior?
Sounds normal to me!

My best friend's oldest DD was that was from birth, it seemed. I remember even when she got to be 3 or 4 her playing with her dolls and Melissa had her feelings hurt, because she wanted to play alone:blush:

Audriannasmommy 08-16-2006 01:47 PM

Re: Is this normal baby behavior?
my 16 month old has been that way since 10 months the only time she wants to be cuddled is at bedtime. We are having a hard time with her right now cause she refuses to sleep at all

rebeccah5 08-16-2006 02:28 PM

Re: Is this normal baby behavior?
I understand that it hurts, but I think it's probably totally normal! My mother had 4 of us kids, and I know she told me that my oldest brother was very much that way. He wanted to be fed, changed, and put down. He is still very independent to this day. It's probably just part of her personality, so try not to take it personally. :hugs:

rds989 08-16-2006 03:51 PM

Re: Is this normal baby behavior?
Totally normal. She clearly prefers you, and looks to you for security and comfort, but is also independent just by nature. Actually, kids who have a form of poor attachment called "anxious attachment" can be very clingy. So her independence is probably a sign of her confidence in your love and reliability.

Isn't that the way with parenting? Teddy was the same way. Never a cuddler or comfort nurser. As he got older and more independent, esp. w/walking, he became more cuddly.

mama23boys 08-16-2006 04:58 PM

Re: Is this normal baby behavior?
joe is half and half! he loves to nurse but i cant touch him (when we are laying down) or hold his hand! and he loves to be held on the hip so he can see the world but he's not one for hugs or cuddles. he'll dip down every once in awhile but im learning its cause he wants to nurse not cuddle....

my 7yo was a cuddler--still is :)

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