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Grrchurch03 02-01-2008 04:16 AM

People actually think this???
One of my IRL friends emailed this to me from a forum she is on, I could not believe it when I read it, and honestly, I was too angry to even try. I had no idea real people actually thought that! I whited out their usernames just in case, but wow. The original message doesn't really bother me, at least she nursed, 15 months is great, but the response is what had me seeing red.

Here is the question:

Weaning 15 month old
Amanda C

Wed. Jan. 30, 2008
I started the weaning process a few months ago and am now down to just nursing before bed at night. I don't nurse him to sleep, but it's definitely part of our nightly routine. I have been thinking about possibly cutting that feeding out soon (within the next week) when my husband will be watching him at night and putting him to sleep. I've tried to cut it out over the past month (kind of), but he really seems to still want it so I didn't push it. Does anyone have any advice for getting rid of this last nightly feeding?

Forgot to mention that my husband is able to put him to bed when I'm not around, so it's not a matter of me HAVING to do it every night, it's more of feeling that the longer I wait, the harder it's going to be for him--- when it's me putting him to bed. I am still on the fence about how I feel about it-- not really sure if I'm ready to stop or not, but feeling the time is coming and I want to be prepared.

And here is ONE person's response... and 16 people have responded (everyone of them has/is nursing... I am not sure on this person though.... doesn't sound like she would be too into nursing a child!... I can not believe a person who say things like this to someone who is asking for help)
Maura F
Thu. Jan. 31, 2008
If your 15-month-old son

a) has teeth

b) walks and talks

c) does not live in the 3rd World

he should NOT be sucking on your breasts -- that is culturally backward, and totally icky. Just say NO!

You sound like a good mom, but this is unintentional child abuse. You are beginning to blur sexual boundaries, and it isn't healthy. At least, not in this culture.

When YOU are ready to stop, he will sense that. If you waver (wanting to "keep him a baby" etc., which is common and understanable, but not necessarily to his benefit), he'll know it. Decide. Implement. And he'll cope.

Keep in mind that a two-year-old can pour his own milk from the fridge if you make it accessible. I know how much you cherish those moments with him, but there are other ways to bond (reading, for instance!) and he isn't an infant anymore. Cherish his development! Encourage it. This is a win-win scenario.

heidisue 02-01-2008 04:19 AM

Re: People actually think this???
Some people are just stupid :(

haydn'smommy 02-01-2008 04:31 AM

Re: People actually think this???
OFFS, what an idiot.

Serendipitous Creationz 02-01-2008 05:59 AM

Re: People actually think this???
:banghead: OMGOSH! ! ! I cannot even believe that response .... that person is obviously not that bright ... and what right minded person would think breastfeeding is blurring sexual boundaries and isn't healthy :headscratch: ... Disgusting !

geckoed 02-01-2008 06:00 AM

Re: People actually think this???
Sooo many people thing teeth=weaning. I have a good friend, seriously, we're really good friends. She loves me and my kids. But she FIRMLY believes that by 8 weeks an infant can wait long enough for you to go somewhere private to nurse, and that at 4 months you start cereal and by 5 months nursing should be 3x a day, meals 3x/day, plus a snack or 2. If you *must* nurse a full year fine- but a bedtime nursing is plenty by 9 months and at 366 days old babies and breasts don't mix. I am tandem nursing a 3yr old and 11 month old right now, she won't roll her eyes or say anything negative in front of my kids. She respects their feeling far too much. But sometimes in emails or pings or whatever she makes remarks.
Its usually "safe" here and some other AP-type boards, but out in the mainstream world those comments are shockingly common.

luvmy2girls 02-01-2008 06:45 AM

Re: People actually think this???

Originally Posted by haydn'smommy (Post 2666227)
OFFS, what an idiot.

:laugh: :yeahthat:

MamaL 02-01-2008 06:51 AM

Re: People actually think this???
okay, I've heard a lot of comments regarding breastfeeding past say 3 months, but NOTHING that offensive. And not just necessarily offensive because of the beliefs (because I think those are common) but the way she presented it. OMG.

She'd hate me for still being naked around my boys at 5 and 3.

Monzie 02-01-2008 06:52 AM

Re: People actually think this???

So, when I give my son a bath or change his diaper and I touch his penis am I also "blurring sexual boundaries"?? Perhaps we should be potty training our children at 12 mos too...and trusting them to bathe themselves...just to be on the safe side? Wouldn't want to be "unintentionally abusing them," after all. :rolleyes:

Its shocking how ignorant (and RUDE) some people can be.

HaleysMommy 02-01-2008 06:55 AM

Re: People actually think this???

You sound like a good mom, but this is unintentional child abuse. You are beginning to blur sexual boundaries, and it isn't healthy. At least, not in this culture.
And 200 years ago did our ancestors wean at 12 months, 6 months, 6 weeks? NO! They breastfed for longer. Who is to say WHEN we should wean? Isn't it up to our children when they are ready to stop? How is it blurring sexual boundaries? I'm sure that this 15month old boy is not getting aroused by nursing therefore there's nothing sexual about it at all. :banghead:

I hate stupid people ... and HATE is not a work I take lightly.

My mother continually says, "you're STILL breastfeeding?!?!" Yes mom, and I will continue to do so until Haley says it's time to stop. :thumbsup: I was formula fed so she just doesn't get it.

nini02 02-01-2008 06:56 AM

Re: People actually think this???
What an idiot.

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