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jls~Kain~Drake 08-27-2006 08:15 AM

How to teach a toddler...
to respect things? or belongings.

The boys have a lot of toys and recently Kain has become VERY stingey/possessive. He used to share really well and I fear this behavior is his cousin rubbing off on him. I want to curb it NOW before he's 7-8 yrs old and acting like this (like his cousin).

The boys are 2.5 and (just turned) 1. In Kain's world (or his eyes), *EVERYTHING* is his. No matter what or whose it is. Anything his little brother is playing with, he goes and snatches it away and barks, "No Drakey, that's mine!"

And I've got a bunch of stuff that needs to be put away (assorted, dishes I let them play with, a lap table thing) and he got in it and just started chucking everything. Anything that *can* be pulled apart, *will* be pulled apart - even if that means it's broken. Surely this isn't normal 2yo behavior.

No form of punishment seems to phase him at all (or positive reinforcement). I told him yesterday if he couldn't be nicer to things, I was going to take all of his toys away and he'd get them back as he learned to be nice. Then we had issues this morning so I'm planning on taking all the toys away. Does that seem unreasonable? I'm just SO tired of this behavior.

CMamma 08-27-2006 08:18 AM

Re: How to teach a toddler...
I'll be watching this thread, but I've come to the conclusion that a lot of it is age & a phase. DS is almost 3 & went through this. He's a lot better now but occasionally we still have trouble. I think sometimes it's an attention issue too (he only says his brother's things are his when he wants us to play w/him & not the baby).

Julesmom23girls 08-27-2006 09:21 AM

Re: How to teach a toddler...
I really think it is the age they are at. My Dd and my friends DS were both like that at that age(they are 6 wks apart in age). My friend had a good way to deal with it, she put the toy in question in time out. If it can't be played w/ properly the toy got put on top of the frige and was in timeout for the rest of the day (or how ever long you see fit). It worked for her. At the time she had a younger child as well, but my Dd was an only child at that time so we didn't have those issues except when we were with them. I thought it was effective. I hope it helps or you find something that does at least. but I really think this is a stage they go through. I bet you could check DR sears website and he would have something to say about it.

Sara315 08-27-2006 10:07 AM

Re: How to teach a toddler...
I agree that its mostly that age. I found that the best way is to point out when you share. ex Im eating an apple or anything else and one of the kids wants some. Ill say you wanna share this apple with me? I apply it with pretty much anything I can. Bathtime too, you can ask the boys if they want to share a bath togeather. It shows them thats theres more to sharing then just with toys. I think this is one of thoses things that are best tought by example. Then if they are really being nasty about not sharing Ill take whatever it is away and say no one can play with it unless its shared, they come around pretty fast.

skayers01 08-27-2006 04:35 PM

Re: How to teach a toddler...
It his age. There's a shirt at Target that begins 1. What's Mine Is Mine 2. What's Yours Is Mine 3. If was mine earlier, it's mine.... and so one. It describes my dd to a T!

jls~Kain~Drake 08-28-2006 06:20 AM

Re: How to teach a toddler...
Is telling me "No!" every time I ask/tell him to do anything age-appropriate too? And how do you respond to that?

jkelstaten 08-28-2006 06:30 AM

Re: How to teach a toddler...
I think it's definitely an age thing. DD#1 just turned 3 and she has been going at this for a couple months. She's not quite bold enough to tell me "No" outright, but she'll say "yes" and act out the no. (if that makes sense). DD#2 is 14 months younger and she's fighting back when Emma takes something from her so occasionally I just let them settle it between them (no matter how much screaming/fussing is involved) and if it gets to be too much then the toy is taken away from them both. Other times, I will help them try to use their words to solve the problem. At the end of every conflict they have to say they're sorry and they forgive, then give a hug.

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