How do you know if theyll be good for you? I would like to find one this time around. I have talked to 3 ladies so far. My q is how do you knwo that theyll be good for you when your in labor? Its such an intimate time, you know? It feels weird inviting a stranger to be there, yet I really want hte supprt. My mom and sis, who were at DD's birth will not be able to be here this time. DH is in his own words, useless. So a doula would be great. Esp since I recently discovred that OB's don't stay at the hospital while you labor--DUH! I assumed that she would like my midwife did with Kylie.
Anyway blabbering, but I am having a hard time choosing and also in the back of my mind is....Is this woman really worth $500???? Would it be rude/silly to ask for a rate cut snce we are so poor? (We think we can do $300)
I need to hear your Doula experinces.
Also is it worth it for a planned hospital birth with meds?
I LOVE being a doula. I feel you wil just know when you talk to the right doula. Also you will meet with her a few times before your birth, ( ideally) and get to know her. I know they can be expensive, but when you are a doula in training, meaning you justneed yourbirths. you arent supposed to charge for that... I have never charged for being a doula. I know bad business move. But i just love helping moms, accomplish what they are trying to do... Beit no drugs. or all of them LOL...
You need to talk about pain meds for sure. If you think you might want drugs. even the slightest possibility. you need to see what your doulas opinion is of this. I have seen some militant doulas who convince mom to go drug free. even when moms wishes are to have drugs.... That is not helpful. A doulas job is to pretty much get whatever mom wants, and to make her as comfy as possible. and to give dad soemthign to dothat is constructive.... Especially if htis ish is first time. Dads carry a ton of nervous energy. They want to help and dont know how, and a doula can say. Here, rub her back righ there and apply pressure... Or whatever....
Also, if you dont want 50 ppl in your delievery room, your doula should help control that. I was at a birth where i had to throw everyone out for hte mom, because she was so tired, and wanted to be alone... Moms will usually not say that to everyone while in labor. but a doula will.
When interviewing, go wiht your heart. Contact a local doula agency ( if you have one) and see if htey have any that are trying to certify. Or if you dont mind paying... Then tell them what your needs are and ask who they recomend. Go to the DONA website, and it will igve you a list of doulas in your area... www.dona.com
Goodluck mama. and i can promise you, A doula will make your birth go a bit smoother....
ETA, as for a planned hospital birht with meds. YES>>>> there is still lots to do. Get you ice. rub your feet, ust be emotional support. It is amazing how the person who has very little emotional connection to your birth, can be the best emotional support... I know someone,who has atened planned c- sections... It is all about support!!!
They also help with breastfeeding issues, and helping before there is a big problem. Hospital lactaion consultants, are not htere 24 hours a day....
If I has another one I would absolutely hire my same doula again (Although DH is snipped.... so that would be :headscratch:)
I'll put my experience down in a little bit - but to save money - you can ask for a doula in training. One that is trying to get enough hours to be DONA certified.
Anyway - I had SPD very bad during pregnancy #3 and we knew that the chances of me not walking after labor were pretty huge (I could have had a complete tear of the Pubic Symphysis joint)
I knew also... that I have a fairly curved pelvic bone which both of my 1st two got stuck under....
So.... in comes a doula - I researched and had to find one that specifically knew how to deal with SPD. One that listened to what positions the PT told me were bad and the Marla provided the alternatives.
She was soooooo sooooo sooooo wonderful. She was worth everysingle penny we paid. $700. yes, $700.
My birth for #3 was wonderful - no drugs, on a birthing stool (one that was high enough that I was sitting without ever having my knees go above my hips - very important) she gave me things to do like - put the weight in your heels. When the nurses were trying to get me out of the bathroom, she was like - just give her a minute, when the nurses thought Hannah was not ready yet, she was like - yes she is.... (I went from an 8 to having her in 5 minutes) (considering I pushed for 4 hours with H1 and 3 with H2 - that was a miracle)
And I walked out of there!
Ok, I am a little biased too, since I am a Doula. But you mentioned it being such an intimate time. Just remember that you will have all kinds of different hospital personnel in and out of your room. And hopefully the Doula can help you to not have any casual observers. I guess to me, the benefits of having a Doula definitely outweigh having the presence of an extra person.
About the money, I believe that every woman who wants a Doula should have one. So I have done some births for little or no money at all. Just tell her what you can afford and see if she would be willing to take it.
And I agree with everything nothing_but_cloth said. Interview as many as it takes until you feel like you have found the right match for you.
Oh, and if you are going with an OB this time, definitely have a birth plan! Maybe you can find a Doula who will help you with one.
I never had a doula but with my first pregnancy my ob stayed with me/ at the hospital while I labored. Maddy came to quick for my ob to be there the entire time. :)
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