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tryin 03-19-2008 10:50 PM

what to do when child destroys your house?

Sarah 03-19-2008 11:20 PM

Re: what to do when child destroys your house?
Have you thought about having him pay for the things he's broken? Even if he doesn't have an after school job. You could add extra chores for him to pay back what needs replaced

Hitchkids 03-20-2008 10:45 AM

Re: what to do when child destroys your house?
When our kids break things (and when we did as kids ourselves) we always had to help to fix them. How much time and money required on our part depended on if it was truly and accident or intentional. When my friend and I set our kitchen on fire, her dad made us buy dinner for everyone that night (granted, the fire was contained with relatively little damage all things considered and it was an accident). When my brother kicked a hole in his bedroom door trying to get it open to get at my little brother, he had to pay to replace it. When he kicked the back of the couch and broke it, he had to repair it. When our son picked the paint off the wall, he had to repaint it (at 8). I'd say at 15, if he breaks it, he has to do a major part of the work to repair it. Even if it is just a flighty accidental thing, he should help with all repairs. And as for leaving the door open, my husband did that a few months ago when he left for work super early in the morning. I came down 3 hours after he'd left and found the front door wide open. I asked him what he was thinking and his excuse was that it was so early in the morning that he just forgot. Um, ok. I guess what I'm trying to say is that these things happen. Trust me, I know they are beyond frustrating. We have a child who seems to think it is great fun to remove screws from everything he can. Nothing like having doors fall over on you when you try to open them because the screws were taken out of the hinges.

LunaBirch 03-20-2008 10:51 AM

Re: what to do when child destroys your house?
Mama, it sounds like there are some underlying issues. Perhaps anger/aggression? Is he in counseling? I also agree that you need to mke him responsible for his actions.. whether it be paying for the damage or helping to repair it, he has to realize there are consequences to his poor choices. Without knowing more details, its hard for me to respond, but with what you wrote, I can say that I sense some serious red flags (I have a bachelor's in psychology and the first-hand experience of being a troubled teen).

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