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Gavin&Brent'sMommy 09-05-2006 03:18 PM

Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T
Does anyone else do Parents as Teachers? I just had my first visit and while I am glad I called her, so I can know where my son should be, I sorta feel like a failure up to now :( She said he should already be saying mamamam, dadadada, babababab... so on, and he should be sitting up and scooting more... I didn't know what kind of exercises I could do with him, this is my first baby, DSS was almost two when DH & I met... I feel like I have failed my son so far :( Needless to say I'm going to be online a lot less... It's bad enough I am taking two courses on here right now, but I am going to be spending even more time with Gavin, not just playing and reading, but doing the exercises she showed me and what not... I felt like crying after she left! :cry:

If anyone else does P.A.T what have they "taught" you?

When did your child first sit on his own (pull himself up & all) when did he/she first crawl and walk?

Well he's napping for now so I'm going to do a lil research on some stuff... just wanted to see what others have to say about P.A.T... but the look on her face when I said he does not wave bye bye yet nor say mama or dada, broke my heart! :(

jecmama 09-05-2006 03:30 PM

Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T
How old is he? I have three *very* bright kids who met all of their milestones on time, and I never did "exercises." I played, talked, and read with them. It's possible he will have speech or motor skill delays, but AFAIK that's not due to a lack of parenting. I have a good friend who is a SUPER mom and when they had their DS evaluated at like 24 mos he had the verbal skills of a 9 mo old. She beat herself up, too, but it wasn't her fault. And I doubt it's yours, either. So go easy on yourself. Babies develop at their own rates and in their own time.

Gavin&Brent'sMommy 09-05-2006 03:32 PM

Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T
see that's what I said, I asked her, what about sitting up & crawling, should he be starting that or is it more a "per child" thing, she said well it's SORT of that...

Gavin is almost six months old

oh and incase anyone else is wondering what PAT is it's parents as teachers

urchin_grey 09-05-2006 03:45 PM

Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T
I've never even heard of P.A.T... but I know how you feel about that kind of stuff. But I mean, come on... how important is waving bye bye??? For one, I know good and well that Bram can immitate things but he doesn't wave bye bye because we never DO that. Usually the only person that ever says goodbye to him is DH and they don't wave to each other, they KISS and HUG goodbye, kwim? So he's never really had a chance to learn it!

With the sitting up thing, do you wear him a lot? I always wanted to wear Bram but since he has a physical disability, I resisted the urge and started putting him on the floor as OFTEN as possible, practically from birth. He started sitting up at 5 and half months old even though his legs barely work. The nurses at the pedi couldn't believe it at his 9 month check up and I was like "well, he's been able to do that for a while". And they said that they have a lot of neuro-typical kids that can't sit up yet at that age and its due to being worn all the time (or in the cases of the opposite extreme, kept in a bouncer or something all the time, but I'm sure that's not what you do!).

Walking and talking I can't really help ya with because Bram probably won't be able to walk for at least a year or so and he's not talking either.

But anyway, I wouldn't worry too much. If he can imitate other things (like showing him how to use a toy and then he does it, or at least tries) then he's probably just fine. And he probably just needs more time on the floor on his tummy to work those muscles he need for sitting up.

He'll get there, don't worry. :goodvibes: :hugs:

urchin_grey 09-05-2006 03:50 PM

Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

Gavin is almost six months old
What??? That's way too young to be expected to say ANYTHING. That lady has some HIGH expectations. I was thinking the baby you were talking about would be closer to 12 months or something!

No, definatly, that's way too much to expect. :banghead: I'm sure he is doing just fine. I know plenty of babies that didn't start saying mama and dada until at LEAST 9 months or so (and that's still early). And its still a little early to expect him to sit up unsupported too.

Gavin&Brent'sMommy 09-05-2006 03:51 PM

Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T
I wear him when we are out but yes when at home, he's usually glued to me LOL or if I am cooking dinner he gets floor time with DH or goes in a walker or swing... but those things are only brief, when I have to cook or grab the laundry... :hugs: to you too, it's just hard to hear you aren't doing as well as you thought yano

Gavin&Brent'sMommy 09-05-2006 03:54 PM

Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T
see I thought SO but she was like oh no no... and she was also pulling him up to standing position saying he should put weight for a few seconds, I thought he was WAY too young for any kind of standing, am I wrong?

trishmom2five 09-05-2006 03:55 PM

Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T
Well Sarah is 6 months, and she does not say mamama, dadada, bababa, she blabbers, but nothing the resembles anything, she pulls herself to standing if you hold her hands, and she rolls, but she does not sit, or try to crawl. And she is fine and dandy.
Don't beat yourself up. If you do tummy time, and talk with your child these things will come when they are ready. Was he "on time" a little early a little late at birth? All these are factors. You have another child in the home, that's a factor also. How much does Gavin have to try to do, before someone does it/says it for him? When you lay out toys, does someone always give it to him? These are not things that make you bad, or whatever, just a part of it. Healthy and happy come first. These milestones are not set in stone. A little work on the exercises and you may be surprised how quickly he picks stuff up.

annes_cottage 09-05-2006 03:56 PM

Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T
I think the lady is whacked!! Some of mine maybe babbled youong...but mostly cooing. Some sat up by themselves and somemnot. ALL babies do things in there timing!!! Now if he was 12 mos and not doing these things I would be concerned!! But at 6 mos!!! Sheeesh!!!

Sorry mama...but that woman telling you that has plum rubbed me the wrong way!!!!! :yuck:

trishmom2five 09-05-2006 03:57 PM

Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T
Also, when you wear him, is he facing you? This counts as tummy time, because they are constantly pushing off to look around!!! My pedi even said so.

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