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-   -   I am a HORRIBLE MOM!!! (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39294)

nothing_butt_cloth 09-08-2006 08:15 AM

I am a HORRIBLE MOM!!!
 
I feel like suck a horrible mom. The day before yesterday i had a HORRIBLE day with my kids. They were just plain BAD! They were getting into everything. and not listening to me, and makign huge messes. I was upset trying to find some fabric i needed, so they were left unattended for about 15 min whiel i was in the garage. Well the DESTROYED my house in the 15 min. I made them dinner and told them they were going to bed after they ate. This would hvae been an hour early, but i felt the way they were acting,they would either go to bed, or they would get beaten by nights end... Well at the table they were playing, making all kinds of noise, juming around, andthat is not acceptable and they know that. So i just told them to go to bed:cry: I SWORE i would never send my kids to bed without a full tummy, but i just didnt know what to do. I was sooo mad at them...My house was trashed, hubby was on his way home, i hadnt showered, Just a BAD day!!!

So yesterday, I stayed out of the office all together, Except when i had one kid here and she was napping. This was a HUGE wake up call for me. I was ontop of my kids like you wouldnt believe, and i cleaned my house for hours. I even shampooed all the carpets, mopped all the floors and washed a coupel windows. I mean REALLY clean.
When the kids were al home from school, and had their snack, They kept askign me, "mom when are you going into the office" What a wake up call. I am spending way to much of my time in the office during the day. Really i feel so far behind on my work, and i am trying to catch up, but i cant do it.
I have about 2 hours to sew during nap time, and that has to be it. until night comes, and hubby takes over and i go to work.
My kids are so wild and i dont know how to get a hold on them.My mom says i am makingexcuses forhtem,and I think I do. I say things like. Well they are only 5,4 and 2,They really dont know... BUT they do!!!!We have had the same rules in this house since they were born.. This may be WAYYYY off, but my oldest has really started acting up alot lately and has been having major behaviro issues.I wonder ifit could be she hates kindergarten. She asks me everyday,when she can go to first grade becasue kindergarten is stupid, and all they do is sing. She is BORED. I can see it in her work. At first she was excited and took alot of carein the coloring activities, but now,she just scribbles,she does her homework really fast,and wants more. and she doesnt want to go to school anymore... I think she is acting out becasue of it...

As for my other kids, I know i just plain old spoiled my 2 YO> She is a brat and i made herhtat way, and now i need to fix it.

I am ust feelinglike i am a bad mommy. Hubyb toldmethatmykids dont act like all the other kids.. Sometimes i thinkhe is wrongbut now i think he is right. I dontthink all 5 yo's raid the pantry, and play inthe bathroom...

I just dont know what to do.... Except keep my butt out of the office...


Anyway, guess i will be around alot less...

Julesmom23girls 09-08-2006 08:34 AM

Re: I am a HORRIBLE MOM!!!
 
I am sure you aren't a horrible mom. Yeah maybe you need to spend more time w/ them when they are home but to say you are horrible is awefully strong.

For your DD who is bored w/ kindergarten maybe you can find her a k-1st grade work book w/ activities she might like to do. Or talk w/ her teacher. Your 4 yo might enjoy this as well, say a pre K book or something.

I get wrapped up doing my own thing too sometimes and DD gets upset w/ me. She is almost 5, she usually vocallized how she feels, but she definately get wound up too. Sometimes just explaining to her that I need to do something is enough. I know that you run a business and that is also important. Maybe if you set a schedule for when you will work and try to stick by it. Even if the kids are home, if you say mommy is setting the timer to work for ... amount of time. When the timer goes off I will be done working and back to do stuff with you. Maybe it will only be another hour of the day, plus naptime and the evening when DH gets in, but it will give you a little time plus it lets them know that it won't be forever.

I hope you can restore order to you home and find a compromise w/ your work. Good luck mamma and don't be so hard on yourself.

MommyMommyMommy 09-08-2006 11:33 AM

Re: I am a HORRIBLE MOM!!!
 
You are not a horrible mom! We ALL have days like the one you described. :hugs: Hugs to you mama!

FancifulFanny 09-08-2006 11:42 AM

Re: I am a HORRIBLE MOM!!!
 
:hugs: You're not a horrible momma...you're a human one.

driftymaer 09-08-2006 01:22 PM

Re: I am a HORRIBLE MOM!!!
 
Trying to juggle everything and take care of everything does not make you a bad mom! It's hard to balance everything. I just went through the same thing. I was trying to take care of everything and solve every problem-only it was my ds and dd that were not getting enough time. You've obviously thought about this and are fixing it-that's all you can do. I also had to step back and do some serious thinking, I also kept thinking that I was a bad mom for not seeing the things happening. You'll find a good balance and I'm sure that your children will be fine-thankfully little ones are very forgiving of our mistakes. lol

OH My ds is 5 as of today and he also loves to raid the pantry and play in the bathroom. If he's missing for more than 5 minutes then I know he's in one of the two. Our bathroom sink is really big and his thing is to go sit in it and take a bath-he tells me it's so he can relax.

ksmama3 09-08-2006 01:34 PM

Re: I am a HORRIBLE MOM!!!
 
My DD was bored in K. I talked to her teacher about it and her teacher made sure to spend some extra time with her. She gave her some more advanced stuff to do and generally kept her challenged. It made a huge difference. :)

betty_joanne 09-08-2006 02:55 PM

Re: I am a HORRIBLE MOM!!!
 
Can you take less on as far as the sewing?? Maybe less custom spots even if it is just temporary? It sounds like you are burning yourself out by doing too much.Your pregnant(correct?)and maybe it is time to take a break or do less sewing. You need to take care of yourself and your family. We can understand that. Don't get mad at me if you have to sew to make ends meet because i don't know your situation. But if you can i would say slow it down mama.

bethkay 09-08-2006 03:13 PM

Re: I am a HORRIBLE MOM!!!
 
My kids raid pantries. Play in the sink and continually destroy everything I just cleaned. I think your kids are perfectly normal and are just like mine!:lostit:

It's hard to juggle all we have to do and give the kids all they need from us too. You are doing the best you can and that's all any of us can do. My kids know better about alot of things too, but if they think they can get away with it, they will do it anyway.:banghead: Just take some time for yourself when you can. It always helps me.:hugs:

Sweet_Fantasy_Fox 09-08-2006 03:18 PM

Re: I am a HORRIBLE MOM!!!
 
your not a horrible mama, things will get better and easier, i agre with the others here, its hard to juggle everything, no matter what happens know that your a wonderful mama and in your kids eyes, you are a hero and great role model & can never do wrong:hugs:


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