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Harmony96 07-05-2008 05:11 PM

Just need some hugs b/c it's never going to happen
I want to help DD potty learn EC-style, and we've sort of been trying that for a couple of months. I ordered the Diaper Free Before Three book and read it a couple of weeks ago. It was a good read, but I'm not sure that it'll "work" for us, or if anything will. LOL. Maybe I'm just starting too early, although that book said that the earlier you start, the earlier they'll be done training.

She sits on her potty willingly enough, and she follows me to the bathroom all the time, but she never does anything in her potty no matter how long we sit there or for how long she's been dry beforehand. Then it didn't help my confidence to meet someone in the pool the other day who had a 2 yr old and said that her DD was potty trained at 18 months and it only took a week. I thought girls were supposed to be easier to train, but if this is "easy" then I'm afraid to have a boy.

She's very easy, but just doesn't "get" this. :dunno: I also thought that having her in cloth would make it easier (we use coverless prefolds so it's not like her dipes have a stay-dry liner or anything) to train her as well, but she could spend all day in a wet or dirty diaper and not even complain at all. (She doesn't, just in case you were wondering, lol).

I dunno though. I guess I just wanted some hugs. I never thought she'd turn two and NOT be trained, but w/ only 5 months to go, that's probably going to happen.

bellasophy04 07-05-2008 06:13 PM

Re: Just need some hugs
:hugs:so sorry.I was so frustrated with trying to get dd to learn she finally decided to use the potty a few months ago... she is 3 1/2

amcatanzaro 07-05-2008 08:05 PM

Re: Just need some hugs
:hugs: PL seems to be a combination of willingness, education, encouragement, and growth (because the body has to actually be mature enough to follow commands. void on cue) Some take to it easier than others. Every mother that has a child that PL early yells it from the hills. I have a friend's DS who learned before 2. He's 5 and she will still tell you about it everyday. She did nothing, he wanted to use the potty.
MY DD has been kicking and screaming about using the potty for almost two years now, tonight she pooed in the potty for the very first time. It was a huge event!
She got her first potty at 18 months, she would sit on it, nothing ever. For months. I think she actually peed at daycare the first time. Then nothing for months. We got videos, we got books, we did the naked thing, we tried just wearing underpants, we got another potty, she picked it out, we bribed her with candy, we bribed her with stickers, we had a chart. Nothing, big fat nothing. Then she turned 3. The doctor said not to worry until she was 4. Some small successes at daycare, only to be reversed when the caretaker would change or we would have a change at home (moving, daddy's schedule changed, new brother, etc). One day at work I vented to a guy I knew had a 4 year old. He just shrugged and said they took her diapers away at 4. She figured it out. Somehow that made me feel better.
PL seems to be a series of VERY small steps for some. Someday I will be able to take away the training pants and pull ups, I'm no longer expecting for that to be tomorrow.
Good luck mama, just remember, everybody learns how to use the potty.

Harmony96 07-23-2008 02:40 PM

Re: Just need some hugs b/c it's never going to happen
Thanks, guys. I hope DD isn't one of those kids who I'll have to just "take the diapers away at 4" lol.

Twice in the past week or so, right after a shower, she peed on the bathroom floor. I told her that she was peeing (or had peed) and she seemed to notice it more than she has in the past. It's still not any big breakthrough or anything (:rolleyes2:) but it's the only update I have, lol.

jason&jilliansmama 07-23-2008 03:10 PM

Re: Just need some hugs b/c it's never going to happen
My son was so stubborn at potty training and I wanted it more than he did. All it did was cause me major frustration, tears, and sometimes anger. All the other kids in my dh's family have been trained BY the age of 2, (there were about 11 of them) and my sons' 2nd bday came and went and we were not even close. He didn't fully train until he was 2yrs 8 mos and I really thought he'd never get it. He's a BRILLIANT child. I couldn't understand why he could learn to do ANYTHING in five minutes but he couldn't figure out the potty. Then one day it was like a litlte lightbulb went off and he just got it. There was no looking back, and he was seriously overnight trained the same time as he daytime trained. It was insane.

Now my dd is 20 months old and my dh wants me to start training her. He thinks that she'll train easier b/c a) girls are "easier" to train and b) she's in cloth diapers. I do NOT want to go through what I went through training my son so I am leery to start now. When I look back on potty training my son, really I hated it. I hated the whole process. I DREAD doing it again! I really want to wait until I am positive my dd is ready.

We'll see.....good luck, it WILL happen. She might just not be ready yet.

tiffanyamanda 07-24-2008 11:06 AM

Re: Just need some hugs b/c it's never going to happen
I know how you feel. My DS was ready to potty train at about 18 months but then we had to move so it kind of got pushed to the side and then by the time we got there he didn't want to anymore. I've occasionally tried him off and on ever since but nothing. He wanted nothing to do with it but only in the last few days since we've been on vacation at my mom's has he started using the potty and actually wanting to. It's going slowly but at least it's going. He's now 32 months and it's been a long road. You can't force it. You just have to take it when they are ready and willing. I've since learned that and will not push my DD to potty train at all if she isn't ready. Good luck!

nitemarehippygirl 07-30-2008 07:51 PM

Re: Just need some hugs b/c it's never going to happen
it will happen...eventually. if it makes you feel better (and it probably doesn't,) my ds is well over three, and not potty trained yet.

we have done a lot of the same things as amcatanzaro. it's gotten to be too big of a struggle, so we have pretty much taken a big step back. he's evidentally not ready. we still ask him to use the potty, but that's about it.

everyone said he would never give up his paci, stop sleping in the bed with me, etc etc. he finally did those things when he got good and ready. i suppose this will be the same.

you can lead a kid to the potty, but you can't make him poop...

statikradio 08-01-2008 01:27 PM

Re: Just need some hugs b/c it's never going to happen
I'm pretty much in the same boat.
DD is 2 yrs 4 mos and although she likes to sit on the potty with me, get stickers and sing this "Poopy in the Potty" song that I made up, she doesn't actually go. She has 2 stickers on the wall behind her potty chair in the bathroom. That was for the 2 times she actually left something in the potty lol and it was just the tail end of a pee she'd already had, one from first thing in the morning.

Most of the time I ask her if she wants to go and she says no.
Sometimes I will ask her to go with me and she will sit down, play with a toy or look at a book or want to sing the song, but she doesn't ever do anything in it. She sees me EC my 6 month old son, and even knows the cue sound "Psssss" but she still won't go LOL.

I've tried underwear, I've tried trainers this week, but really I just don't think she gets it yet. Not all the way. I'm hoping soon though. I'm tired of buying sposies or cleaning up pee off the carpet!

Harmony96 08-10-2008 07:40 PM

Re: Just need some hugs b/c it's never going to happen - mini update in #9
This afternoon, I laid Lydia down for her nap. She went to sleep for about 20 minutes, then woke up and talked to herself for 40 minutes before going back to sleep again for 2.5 hours. I thought for sure that when she got up, her diaper would be wet, but it was BONE dry. I nursed her, and she didn't pee while nursing, either, so I took that opportunity to see if she wanted to sit on her little potty. I gave her a book and a cup and she managed to sit on it all by herself (previously, she would try to sit on it but her aim would be off and she'd end up on the floor, lol, so I'd have to set her on it). She stayed there for about 5 minutes, and when she got up, there was pee in it! :D I was excited. She's still FAAAAAAAAR from being PL'd, but I still did a little dance, b/c this was my first "real" catch. :)

ETA: I called mom and told her this, and she said that I needed to hurry up and "get with" the PLing b/c she had me and my sisters all trained by 18 months. (Lydia's 20 months so I'm already "behind" lol.) She said that I could have her trained in a week or so, depending on how diligent I was w/ it. I told Mom that I'd try to have her PL'd within 6 months, and that the pee in the potty this afternoon was probably just a one-time fluke. :p

Harmony96 09-03-2008 09:12 PM

Re: Just need some hugs b/c it's never going to happen - "regression" in #10
I haven't actively done any more PLing w/ Lydia since my last post b/c of that huge coop I was hosting, but today feel like we're going backwards. Whenever we DO start PLing in earnest then we're going to have to start from scratch (or from "less than" scratch if there is such a primitive level to start with, lol).

I've been noticing that sometimes she is extra fussy before she poops, but it could still be just minutes before or hours before. Today, she said "poopoo" and a few minutes later I smelled it in her diaper, but I don't know if she was really knowing what she did or if she just said it randomly. She has said "poopoo" spontaneously before, but then the poop doesn't come for hours or days later. :p

But anyway. She was acting a little "fussy for no reason" and made her cry that I think sounds like her "I need to poopoo" cry, so I tried to get her to sit on either her little potty or the big potty and she would have none of it, not even w/ her book or anything. :( Earlier than today, even just a few weeks earlier, she would at least be content to sit on her little potty even if nothing was happening, but not now. :dunno: :cry:

I'm getting "out" of this subforum until she's 3. Maybe 4. Maybe she'll be ready by one of those ages. (I'll come back if someone posts a reply to me... but this subforum moves so slowly... lol)

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