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mom2kailinconnor 10-20-2006 08:10 PM

Some questions
Ds is 4 months and I have a few questions.

1) We just started co-sleeping with him. Well, we did in the beginning but then put him in the bassinet for a couple months, and have now started again. He just sleeps so much better with us. In his own bed, he wakes at least twice a night, in our bed, it is usually just once. My question is, how long do you co-sleep? I will be very honest and say I don't want to do it for very long, really just until he is sleeping through the night consistently. That is my feeling now, but things could change I know. I just feel like hubby and I need our time as well, and we only get that in bed. So when I am ready, how do I break him of the co-sleep? I am just scared to death it will be a great battle.

2) We still swaddle him. It is the only way he will sleep. The swaddle, the carseat while driving, or being held while rocking. Obviously the last 2 are not real options most of the time. Do you think it is okay that he still requires this? Is it good for his development? Again, how will/when should I break him of this? I don't mind to continue to swaddle, but I know he will soon grow out of the blanket I use! I am really worried that he will continue to require this and will not learn to soothe himself to sleep. I have thought of a sleep sack, but it the arm restriction that he really loves. He can be fussing and crying b/c he is sleepy, and if you hold his arms down, he will settle and go to sleep. First time he stirs though and his arms are loose, he wakes himself and cannot settle down alone.

I know he is only 4 months, I am just always thinking ahead with things like this. If there is something I can do now to save heartache later, that is what I want to do. But most of all, I want to do what is best for him.

Also, he does take a paci, sparingly, so that will not help with the swaddle-breaking.

AngelMommy 10-20-2006 08:25 PM

Re: Some questions
I coslept with DS until he was about 10 months, he transitioned to his crib entirely (pretty much all naps and every night) by the time he was 1 yr. (He still didn't sleep through the night, though until he was 19 months).

He woke himself with his jerking arms/legs for several months. He did grow out of it, though. I don't remember exactly how old he was when he did, but I remember worrying that he never would. He was 5 weeks early, though, so that may have been why some of these things lasted longer. I want to say he grew out of it by 6 months, but I'm not sure. I do know that by 6 months he did not want to be swaddled anymore. In fact I think he refused to be swaddled around 5 months even though until that day he screamed if he wasn't. It was a very sudden transition.

mom2kailinconnor 10-20-2006 08:40 PM

Re: Some questions
Ds is getting to where he will fuss and cry a little while we are swaddling him, but once he is swaddled, he calms right down. Also, if I try to not swaddle him and put him to bed, he will just scream and scream, he is definitely not a good CIO candidate, lol!

AngelMommy 10-20-2006 08:50 PM

Re: Some questions
We tried CIO once. My pedi suggested it. He screamed for 3 hours. I went in every 5 minutes, patted his back, it didn't matter. Never again. He is also not a candidate! LOL He never let up at all! And even after I went in and got him, he continued to scream in anger, as though he was holding a grudge. He's still just as stubborn!

mom2kailinconnor 10-20-2006 09:34 PM

Re: Some questions
We actually did CIO with dd and it worked very well. It was a last resort and the only thing that would work. I know ds is too young for that at this point, but I don't think he will cooperate even when he gets older. It is not a method that I enjoyed or want to use again, but it did bring sanity after a couple insane nights.

kht2006 10-20-2006 10:25 PM

Re: Some questions
DD is three months old and we still swaddle. She fusses when she is being swaddled calms right down and goes to sleep. My feeling is that she'll let us know when she is ready. From a developmental perspective, the startle reflex integrates between 3-6 months. When that reflex is integrated, then I don't think we'll have to swaddle anymore. I'm a big believer in trying to follow my baby's cues. (not that I get it right all the time)

mom2kailinconnor 10-20-2006 10:35 PM

Re: Some questions

Originally Posted by kht2006 (Post 386193)
I'm a big believer in trying to follow my baby's cues. (not that I get it right all the time)

I am a big believer in this as well, I guess sometimes I just second guess myself. :blush:

April.C 10-22-2006 08:35 PM

Re: Some questions
My DD is 7 months old and is just now starting to outgrow the need to be swaddled. I was a little worried about how I was going to break this habit. I tried a few times and it was miserable, she would NOT go to sleep, no matter how tired she was. For awhile I was afraid I was going to have a 3 year old that still needed to be swaddled! But we just kept trying. Every week or so we would try to put her to sleep without being swaddled. We would do our bedtime routine minus the swaddling and then just see what happened. If she started screaming, we would cuddle her and calm her down, swaddle, and then bed. Finally, this weekend dad got her to sleep without swaddling!!! :ohyeah: :yay: :zzz:

I'm sure your DS will outgrow it in his own time as well. Good luck to you!

daisyprincess98 10-22-2006 08:43 PM

Re: Some questions
I'm pretty sure it's the startle reflex and that he will eventually outgrow it. Don't worry, mama, you're doing fine! If you're very concerned, ask your ped. they will at least be able to let you know if it's developmental for sure.

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