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-   -   I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday! (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=581608)

sheleighya 10-21-2008 10:03 AM

An Emergency Protective ORDER, Ugh!!!!!!!! (I lost my children): Updated for 1/29/10
 
UPDATED IN POST 23, 28, 30, 31, 34, 41, 45, 47-50, 52, 54, 60, 62, 67, 73, 79, 80 and 92. TY! What Can I Do?


Thursday and Friday, 10/18/08 and 10/19/08, I helplessly represented my custody case alone, while my husband legally lynched me for exercising my constitutional right to not vaccinate our children for religious reasons. I did not have the funds for a lawyer, still remained as a sahm after he separated himself from the children and I. He said he would pay the bills still, but ended up not following through once the lease to our marital apt ended. So, I moved into low-income apartments to give me a place to come up, not permanently, or at lest until the youngest was three I thought/felt.

I, in fact, knew of two pro bono lawyers. Both denied me for different reasons. I felt confident, and that I had everything necessary to fight his claims. Yet, my husband's attorney, introduced a claim that was not apart of the original pleadings, the fact that I did not vaccinate the children.

I did not understand that I could have objected, and so it was permitted to be included in the case. That was when the judge made it her mission to get my children vaccinated, without actually ordering me to do so. She stripped my children from my loving care, and place them into his custody, and ordered them into DAYCARE. He actually preferred that his mother cared for them, but the judge did not consider that he may have wanted to do that. So she went around him instead of leaving it up to him to decide how they would be cared, and ordered the children into daycare where they had to be vaccinated (at least they would not tell him otherwise).

Under the North Carolina General Statutes 130-A 156, I am entitled to exemption for religious beliefs. The judge knew that she could not blatantly order immunizations if they would be placed with me, or she would be in violation of my rights by law. Therefore, she put them in his care, and ordered daycare knowing that my EH would have to them vaccinated (he knew that I previously refused some of them with our first child, but not that I decided to stop all after I learned about them with the growth of our family).

In all of that, she deemed me fit and loving. She, the judge, deemed my EH (estranged husband) fit and loving. I was a stay at home mother, and stayed in low income housing, I did not plan to live that way for my benefit at all. My lifestyle was not such that I needed a full time job. I know how to save and lessen the need for money, and still enrich my children's life with what we had. I do have a college degree, which is why my children would have been in a favorable position to stay with me at home, unlike the stereotype most low-income parents receive. I taught them, loved them, made funds selling things online (ebay, etc), used secon hand items in EUC, swapped things, etc.. They had clothes for years to come, plus I did childcare for other parents to make ends meet.

My children did not go without. I did as far as clothes, shoes, and other little luxuries that I could do without, and kept my things up. They never suffered for want of food or clothes, or learing toys. He claimed they did, but the GAL validated otherwise. She said joint custody would be best.

The judge was not justified by her verdict, although temporarily ordered for six months at the time, just long enough to catch the boys up on immunizations. I was so bewildered by this and became very depressed, and was pumping to try to keep my milk up until I receive them on the weekends, as she ordered. The judge also ordered that every third weekend out the month they were with dad (leaving a 12 day gap before I would get them again, which meant that my baby (just one) wouldn't be able to nurse during that period, and therefore making it difficult to continue nursing.

She ordered them to be in dad's custody the very last day of the hearing, Friday, the 19th of Oct., and the following week days, which abruptly weaned my LO (my LO did resume again nursing with each weekend I had the children).

I willingly sacrificed for them and it was not much of a burden to do so for me. Just to be there for their early years, and be their guide myself is what meant the world to me. It was all taken away.

Psychomom 10-21-2008 12:07 PM

Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!
 
:cry:

Jenney17 10-21-2008 12:19 PM

Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!
 
Start here:
http://www.lllflorida.com/groups/index.html

There has to be attornies who deal with custody and bf. SS Mama, :hugs:

crunchymomof3 10-21-2008 12:22 PM

Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!
 
:hugs: i am so sorry momma :hugs:

Lisa_delo 10-21-2008 12:29 PM

Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!
 
Gosh Hun I don't even know were to start and what to say. I am so sorry:hugs: :hugs:

MommyToNoah 10-21-2008 12:37 PM

Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!
 
I am so sorry Mama. <<<<HUGS>>>>

firemommaof1 10-21-2008 12:37 PM

Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!
 
:cry: :cry: :cry:

I'm so sorry mama :cry: This is just so sad! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I wish I had advice for you :( I hope other mama's can help you out :hugs:

How horrible! :cry:

briana-d 10-21-2008 01:46 PM

Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!
 
hugs to you! fight them off i cant believe that judge was so insensitive and rude its your choice not to vaccinate!

kezoo 10-21-2008 03:41 PM

Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!
 
:jawdrop: That is such a load of crap!!! I am so angry for you! So your boys are better off in daycare than home w/ their mother? What the hell is this country coming to??

Check out nvic.org to see if they have resources on the vaccine front. And even putting them in daycare doesn't require vaxes if you have already claimed an exemption (my kids are in daycare & school w/out vaxes - I just submitted the exemption form instead of their vax record). So the whole thing stinks, IMO.

cheygirl 10-21-2008 04:01 PM

Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!
 
Oh wow I'm so sorry mama. :hugs:
I'm totally grasping at straws here, but what if you made a human rights complaint based on the fact that your religious rights will be violated by her decision?


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