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MamaZ 05-20-2006 11:52 AM

child psychologist?
For 2 years now I have been struggling with my 4 yo DS's behavior problem. He cannot sit still for more than 1 min (unless it's a video game), very disruptive, abusive to other kids, just simply out of control.

I removed him from one day care because they could not handle him and we talking bad about ME in front of him. (long story) His next day care was much better and they thought perhaps it was his way of rebelling since he knew I was having DD (though the behavior was way before I even was pregnant). Well now I am home with them 24/7 and I notice he is off the wall. He punches holes in the wall when he gets mad, forgets things, cannot do anything for more than a min. Nuts! Today he punched his soccer coach in the privates. Also at soccer, I tried to help him (with DD in my mei tai so this is going to be a funny pic) with soccer. I was out of the field trying to give him the directions the coach was saying. No good. Usually it is me and two other parents PLUS the coach to try and get him to somewhat pay attention but it never works. He doesn't listen. It's like he is in his own little world. Other parents at the soccer games won't even talk to me now because he is just out of control. :cry: Yet he can be so smart in certain areas (he is a wiz at puzzles! The child can put together 100 tiny piece puzzles-of course taking constant breaks) and has such wonderful manners-always says please and thank you, tries to hold doors for people (though he is not really strong :laugh: )

His bio-dad has some psychological probs (another LONG story) so I'm wondering if he inherited anything? Another parent today mentioned to me that if this is how he acted in pre-school last year, I'm in for a surprise in Kindergarten in 2007 :cry: So I want to see if I can get some sort of help now for him. I know our schools can be very accomodating to special needs kids but first they need a diagnosis before entering. Plus if he does have ADD or ADHD, he would qualify for the special pre-k classes next year that would really help him. I think he needs all the help he can get.

I did check out the early symptoms for a 4 year old and I was shocked to see he had every single one of them (even the early signs in infancy and toddler age). It would not shock me if he does have something.

But where do I start? Do I just take him to a child counselor or child psychologist? Our insurance does not require referrals, we can go where ever we want so I'm just trying to figure out what is the next step.

I have also read about changing diets to change behavior, any suggestions there? He does not eat anything sugary (aside from the occassional breakfast cereal) but he is more of a fruit and healthy food little man. (I'm so fortunate there)

TaivensMama 05-20-2006 02:44 PM

Re: child psychologist?
you need to get in touch with mental health...we are just now going through this with my son...we know he has sensory integration dysfunction but I thought that was it...but now I see he is likely highly functional I need to get him checked out to get the diagnosis..before his doc where we lived prior said to hold off because if it wasnt interfering with school we should not label him...I had him at a very open, relaxed, earthy school, but now he is in a small public school here and is having major issues with the inability to stop humming or low chattering constantly when they are instructed to be quiet. Also he spins ALLLLLL the time and is in his own world...he is in no way violent like the issues your son is having...but your son sounds a lot like the child I used to nanny for and he was diagnosed with depression possible bipolar and low self esteem. He started out with the hitting and kicking then it got so bad he threw a fork at his moms face and she has a huge scar!...So it needs to be treated now! he was put on meds and is great he even said he loves being happy now and doesnt have evil thoughts anymore....You can PM me if you wanna chat...

1bigfamily 05-20-2006 03:43 PM

Re: child psychologist?
I would definitely have him daignosed. My son was very similar at that age and has been daignosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Every child is different so you should have him checked. If I had put my son on meds earlier than he wouldn't have been so miserable the last 5 years. He was almost expelled from kindergarten so I pulle dhim out after only 1 month of school. He was expelled from 1st grade then repeated 1st grade on half days. Then I homeschooled him for 2nd and now in 3rd he was almost expelled after only 1 1/2 months in school. We put him on meds this year (we had tried them previoulsy but long story there) and the school was really great and worked with us so all he ended up getting was put on independent study for the rest of the year. He is a totally different kid on the meds, night and day difference. There are still some behavioral issues but they are manageable now. He had been alienated by all the kids he met for a long time but now that he can manage himself he can actually get along with kids now. His prayer for a long time was that he just wanted to have friends and now he does. Don't hesitate fromcontacting the local mental health. They have many resources including working with them at school. You can PM me if you have any questions for me also.

:hugs: :hugs: I know how hard it is to deal with especially when everyone just thinks you are a bad mom bc of the behaviors they see. :hugs:

bobandjess99 05-21-2006 10:09 AM

Re: child psychologist?
it does sound like he has some sort of disorder..possibly sensory...most likely some sort of autism spectrum disorder, like ADHD or even high functioning autism....has he been vaxxed? Has he been tested for mercury poisoning? He likely needs chelation therapy.

MamaZ 05-21-2006 07:12 PM

Re: child psychologist?
I am calling his pedi tomorrow for suggestions on where to go. When my MIL took him to church this morning, one of the other mothers in the junior church mentioned to my MIL that she was going to give her a neurologist's name and number because she felt something was wrong with Dylin. :( This was before I even mentioned anything to my MIL about it. Apparently my entire family has all been waiting for me to admit that he has a problem. I just so wanted to believe that he was just an average 4 year old. :cry: But on the bright side, if he does have a problem he is going to get a personalized learning plan throughout school and so many other things to help him out. I was even told he will go to a specialized pre-k for FREE!!! Normally it's about $800-$1k a month! Woohoo! So I will let you all know what happens :)

1bigfamily 05-21-2006 07:25 PM

Re: child psychologist?

momof4 05-21-2006 08:03 PM

Re: child psychologist?
Good luck! I think you're off to a good start to talk to the pediatrician. You can also get good referrals from the special school where they might send him, and from your public school guidance counselor. I posted more of our story on the ADHD thread on this site; much of what you're going through, I've also experienced. PM me if you'd like more support and ideas. Meantime, if you like to read, try "Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach", by Howard Glasser. I think of everything that I read, this was most helpful.

Kindermama 05-29-2006 07:28 PM

Re: child psychologist?

I think you'd see a huge improvement if you took him to a classical homeopath for a constitutional remedy. Psych. issues can definitely be passed from gen. to gen. Don't doubt that. Allergies could also be the culprit. I'm studying homeopathy and I truly think he'll/you/your family will benefit from it!!

boingo82 06-02-2006 07:30 AM

Re: child psychologist?
I would definitely encourage you to seek help from him. Like you said, if he is dxd with something, there will be a lot of resources to help you.
We are working with Early Intervention with our 2 year old and had an eval with a pediatric psychiatrist yesterday. She was wonderful! We don't have results yet, but it was rewarding just to go, talk about our issues, and be heard.

sesa70 06-02-2006 07:50 AM

Re: child psychologist?
I know its very hard when we have to admitt there is something not quite right with our babies.

Maybe you could check out a pediatric developmental or mental health clinic? Some of the major hospitals have them and they tend to be great places to start. If you have a childrens hospital I would call there. It seems a bit overwhelming at first becauase there are alot of people evaluating your child at once, but after the initial eval they make recomendations on who to see and give you an idea of what they have found and tend to help you along the path to a diagnosis and intervention. This is where we started with our dd, though of course her issues were much different.

As for the schoools, I agree that the programs can be wonderful. It does all depend on area, as we lived in a large city and the public school was AWFUL for my dd so we moved to a much better district. I actually saw one of the summer aide's drop a child while picking her up from her wheelchair!
I am also a special ed major (slow going but making progress~!) and I have spent alot of time in various classrooms and spoken to many parents of kids in special ed as well as having one myself. If you have any ?'s please feel free to ask!

Good luck, and just know your doing the right thing, and the best you can :goodvibes:

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