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Zan 12-18-2006 09:38 AM

How do you feel about...
males watching/babysitting/taking care of your children?

DH and I were talking yesterday after church about volunteering in our church's nursery. Because of DD age and naps we might not be able to both volunteer at the same time. So, I asked him if he wanted to while I went home with DD and then the following week, we'd switch or some other type of arrangements. He mentioned that he'd feel more comfortable in the older rooms (like 2+ years) because of perceptions of males taking care of children. We've discussed the issue personally before when looking for babysitters for DD. I just don't feel comfortable with males watching children. At first I thought, well if it's one of our brothers, or grandpa, then I'd feel okay. BUT then I mentioned that sexual abuse is MORE COMMON among relatives and non-strangers. I'd HATE to think that anyone of our relatives would ever harm a child, but honestly, I know that it can and does happen with even the least suspecting person. I've heard a few Christian testimonies from pp who were abusers and it really makes me be on guard more- because you just don't know.

Anyways, I'm curious how you feel about the issue.

fostermomcchr 12-18-2006 09:53 AM

Re: How do you feel about...
I don't worry about the gender of the person caring for children so much as I worry about their personality and caring nature. I know some very genuinely caring males that I have no worries about leaving my fosterbabies or my own children when they were little with. I have a friend whose hubby is absolutely wonderful with children of all ages, he is a teacher, started in elem ed many years ago and this year moved to high school and he is great with all of them. He babysat my kids when they were little and he has cared for many of my fosterbabies-he only has trouble if he has to mix formula cuz he is really pro BF so his 3 kids have never had formula, so I just have to make sure the bottles are fixed for him. I also have seen many males interact with children in many different avenues and I love seeing a nurturing male with groups of children cuz it is mostly moms that work with groups. My hubby goes on all the field trips with the kids from Kindergarten on cuz I personally relate better to babies-preschoolers and school age kids just get on my last nerve. The teachers loved having a dad cuz then the boys had a male to help in bathroom breaks etc while at a public place. I think it would be great for your hubby to volunteer if it is something he wants to do-my hubby prefers the school age kids so you will NEVER find him volunmteering in the nursery for anything at all. Oh and my oldest son's first sitter was a male, he was 18mths old and I had to finish one last college class to graduate and it was only offered during the day, a male friend of ours worked evenings so he was available for my 2 hr class 2 days a week, so he took care of him for me and he was great!

Sarah 12-18-2006 10:01 AM

Re: How do you feel about...
Our favorite babysitter is a teenage boy. He does an awesome job with the kids,he's very trustworthy and is just a super sweet kid

Zan 12-18-2006 10:31 AM

Re: How do you feel about...
DH has taught sunday school at our old church for 3-4 year olds and 3rd graders but as a male he was never alone with the children. He's SUPER AWESOME with children but he has felt some weird vibes (in general) b/c of ppls perceptions and conversations overheard.

I totally understand looking at the personality and general nature of a person, but I must admit I'm more likely to put a blanket no out there for a male to watch DD. Perhaps it might have more to do with my own experiences but either way, I tend to feel uncomfortable about males watching children.

I believe that men should volunteer for field trips, outings etc. with children b/c children need postitive role models and unfortunetly many don't have enough or any at all.

tararaboomdeea 12-18-2006 10:45 AM

Re: How do you feel about...
I am generally more comfortable with women, just because of those "motherly" instincts. Emily's sunday school teacher last year was a man and he was great. We've never had a male sitter (we rarely have a sitter at all) but if it was someone we knew well and I completely trusted, I wouldn't hesitate to leave them with a man.

jenn5388 12-18-2006 10:53 AM

Re: How do you feel about...
I'd like to say I don't have a problem with it, but the more I think about it the less I like the idea of it.

Funny because I don't have a problem with Male teachers, and teachers are part "babysitter". :) (not insulting Teachers in any way, just saying they are the only ones in the room with 20+ kids all day long. :)

I wish you good luck him good luck in the daycare!

CookClanMama 12-18-2006 12:05 PM

Re: How do you feel about...
I am more concerned about the personality of the sitter than the gender-women can be abusers, too. I totally understand the reasoning behind the "mother instinct", but truthfully, I've known almost as many men who have a better (or more pronounced) parenting instinct as women who do.

Now, that being said, I would be more likely to trust a teen girl than a teen boy as a sitter, simply because many teen boys are more immature than their female counterparts of the same age & just aren't as responsible as I like for my sitters to be (I don't let teens keep my kids anyway, though). Adult sitters, though-I would base my sitter choice on my own instincts, & typically gender just isn't a factor.

Kelolsen-and-Padawan 12-18-2006 12:14 PM

Re: How do you feel about...
We have men that sometimes volunteer in the church nursery and it never occurred to me to wonder about it. One guy is one of the dads and he looooves to hang out w/ the little kids. H babysat when he was a teenager. I guess I'd have to know the kid, just as I'd want to know the babysitter if she were female.

*~Mindy~* 12-18-2006 12:36 PM

Re: How do you feel about...
im funny about anybody, im more worried about their knowledge of the age group, and personality, y know?
my brothers dad was sundayschool and awana tacher when me and his son were in it, when we were 4-6 or so, and we had 2 awana leaders who were males, and the director was as well, but he didnt have a class to himselfat the time reither..
i dont know, i might be more wary of some guy just showing up and trying to be in with kids, but if hes a known member and all, if i were the type to leave my kid in nursery or with a teacher, then i dont think id have as much of an issue, but i dont care who it is, for little ones id much prefer 2 people per room at the least anyway, but that could be me, lol

Lasciate 12-18-2006 01:07 PM

Re: How do you feel about...
Our only babysitter currently is my brother - lots of people think that's weird but he's got more maternal instincts than I do, I swear! I think it stinks that males can't be childcare workers without people looking at them suspiciously and making all sorts of horrible assumptions.

That said, I don't feel comfortable with stranger babysitters - male or female. The one time my mom let a stranger watch us (she was a friend of our aunt's) she stole some of my mom's jewelry :mad:

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