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KnottyLDSMama 12-24-2006 12:22 PM

Night weaning...
So, I really don't want to do it, but I have no choice. I HAVE to start making money or else I have to go out and get an actual job (which would mean total weaning since I can't pump). DS HAS to be able to go to sleep without me in case I'm at a birth overnight.

He'll be 9 months old on the 5th. He still gets swaddled at night. He doesn't care if you sing, rock, white noise...anything. The only way he will go to sleep is to nurse. He won't take a pacifier (and trust me, I've tried pretty much every brand). I don't even want to think of what's going to happen to him (not to mention poor DH) if I'm away for a night. He won't even take naps without nursing to sleep.

So where do I start? How do I do it gently? What in the world can I do to get him to sleep other than CIO (which I WILL NOT do) if I don't nurse him? I could really use the help, although it makes me sad to have to do this so young. :cry:

jjaelovesenglish 12-24-2006 12:56 PM

Re: Night weaning...
:hugs: I wish I knew some answers for you but didn't have to nurse DD to sleep so I can't help.

chelle0518 12-24-2006 01:03 PM

Re: Night weaning...
I didn't think my guys would ever fall asleep without me either, but when I wasn't around, they did fine with DH just holding them, when they were older. But even when Noah was only 3 months & I fainted and cracked my head open in Oct., his Godmomma came over and slept with him while I was at the hospital. When he woke up, she gave him some EBM, but he wouldn't quite settle down. She had just quit nursing her son and probably had a teeny bit of milk still hanging around, she said he nursed for just a sec, probably figured out it wasn't me and snuggled up with her and went to sleep. I totally think God blessed us this night, with the sleeping (and the head) but maybe if you're not there, your little one will be okay.
I know you said pacis are a no go, but all three of mine have only liked the 'Kip' style ones. I can only find them at Target/Walmart as the store brand, usually with Pooh & Friends.
HTH! Good luck :hugs:

MamaMel 12-24-2006 02:15 PM

Re: Night weaning...
quick question...

have you tried leaving the house and having your DH put him to bed? sometimes just you even being in the house is enough to make him not want to go to bed w/out nursing.

My mom can put my DD to sleep but only if im gone

KnottyLDSMama 12-24-2006 03:11 PM

Re: Night weaning...

Originally Posted by MamaMel (Post 563752)
quick question...

have you tried leaving the house and having your DH put him to bed? sometimes just you even being in the house is enough to make him not want to go to bed w/out nursing.

My mom can put my DD to sleep but only if im gone

I've left DS with DH for naps before and DH can't get him to sleep. :( 12-24-2006 03:14 PM

Re: Night weaning...
I so feel for you momma :hugs: DD is 17 months old and we have the same issue. I have to tell ya, I agree with the momma who said her DH was fine AS LONG AS she was out of the house. Babies have a sixth sense of when momma is around, our DD certainly does, and she will NOT let DH put her down with pumped bm if I am in the house. It could be rough the first few times. Give everyone extra love and hugs and it will work out.
Lots of :hugs: to your family.

KnottyLDSMama 12-24-2006 03:29 PM

Re: Night weaning...
Ok, so I'm trying to get a plan together here. We usually go to sleep between 11 & 12, but DS usually naps on my lap starting between 9-10 until right around when we go to bed. So I'm thinking...he eats his solids at 8. Then I'll give him a bath at 8:30 and see if I can get him to lay down after his bath. I usually just let him nap on my lap at night since he won't sleep without me and I'm not ready to go to bed. But I can't imagine the things I could get done if I could put him in bed at 9!

Do you think setting up a routine like this would help? I mean, I don't think *I* will be able to get him to lay down without nursing him, but maybe if nursing is just one small part of his bedtime routine, do you think he might be more inclined to do better without it? Instead of "OMG my boob is gone my whole world is falling apart!" it would be like, "I got my my Something's missing". KWIM?

mommyto2 12-24-2006 07:31 PM

Re: Night weaning...
I'm pretty new here, but did want to post because my ds was exactly like this until he was over a year old. He literally never went to sleep without nursing (except riding in his carseat). I used the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and it really helped. A big part of it was establishing a routine like the one you mentioned above that does not end in nursing. We had to do some other things from the book, but I would definitely try the routine you described and go from there. I also highly recommend the book if you need a lot of ideas/descriptions/support.

greenkmt 01-02-2007 06:28 AM

Re: Night weaning...
Since he likes to be swaddled, I dould have your husband swaddle him and just hold him in his arms until he goes to sleep. I know it might get rough, but tell hubby not to talk to much to him just to hum or sway. I second you not being in the house while this is done, because like you said, DS would be like WTH mom I want BOOB! LOL! I never thought that my DH would get him to sleep, but he does now (with practice) and not CIO.

pixiepunk 01-02-2007 10:59 AM

Re: Night weaning...
as others have said, it's different when the milk source isn't around. my DH has a very different relationship with our kids than me, and hey came up with their own ways of dealing with these kinds of issues.

if he likes swaddling, wearing him down might work nicely for your DH. he can swaddle him first, then put him in the RS. that way he can move around, jiggle, etc, which is usually helpful in getting babe to sleep.

i think if it were me i'd prefer the possible rough time for DH/DS getting to sleep once in a while vs. night weaning entirely if you are otherwise enjoying it and it's working for you. most experts don't recommend trying to night wean until at least 1 year old, or at least using the gentle night weaning methods.

when i night weaned DD during pregnancy (my supply was zip and she was getting really upset by it, rather than being soothed when nursing). so DH took over the soothing to sleep and soothing back to sleep (offering a sippy of water if needed). so he bore the brunt of her being upset. so he way we did it, DH would be dealing with the crying kid one way or the other.

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