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tommyzmommy 01-17-2007 04:51 PM

Has anyone else read Strong Willed Child or Dreamer book
I've recently brought out my copy because DS1 had lots of the Dreamer characteristics but not I'm confused about how to implement consequences for poor choices/ behaviour. I'd like to be better about the discipline/punishment in our home as he's 5 and able to understand his actions have consequences. I don't like spanking as punishment so we mostly have time-outs (warning), sit-outs (punishment), toy time-outs and taking away Jeff Corwin show priviledges (we don't watch much TV). The Dreamer child is described as needing to see the big picture behind parental requests and is frustrated by too many details so I've been trying to work with this. But now I'm feeling the need to talk with anyone else who's read the book and thinks they have a Dreamer child too. I'm trying to be firm when he acts up or doesn't try his best at simple requests without making it personal but I get so frustrated about repeating myself. The other night I sent him to bed without reading to him in our bed because I'd asked 3x that he put on his pjs while I was brushing his brother's teeth, etc. I even told him what the consequences would be... when I came out, he was playing and not even trying to get the pjs on; so he went to bed without reading, snuggling time and cried for 15 minutes. I still went in to tell him goodnight and explain again what happened but I hated the way it turned out. I don't want to be the mama-nazi. That has very little to do with the book, just that I should have explained where his pj wearing fit into the bedtime routine I guess. Has anyone else got a Dreamer child that needs a different type of motivation/ gentle discipline?

MomsHelpingMoms 01-17-2007 05:00 PM

Re: Has anyone else read Strong Willed Child or Dreamer book
I've read the strong willed child. I've noticed that discipline is like everything else in our home, it works in stages. Time outs work for a while, then stop. Warnings and toys being taken away are the same. The only thing that does work is a spanking. I personally, can't stand it most of the time. I got a job working full time at nights and my hubby was left with the hardest part of the day when disciplining seems to be inevitable. He is a no nonsense kind of guy. Don't get me wrong, he is an awesome dad, but my oldest doesn't respect him when he tries time out. He learned that spanking worked for her and honestly, lately, she has been wonderful. We haven't had many problems and when she does protest, a warning is all it takes. I do wish there was something else that worked, but for my oldest, there just isn't. I watch the nanny shows religiously and ask for advice where ever I can, but spanking is all that works and actually corrects the behavior.

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