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zebaby 01-23-2007 11:47 AM

What is "Cry It Out"?
I know some people swear by it :yay:and others believe it to be evil:whip: but what exactly is it? It seems everyone has their own definition of it.

What is your definition of "Cry It Out" and what do you think of it:2cents: ?

Help me figure out my position on it!:think:

Well ladies, after soooo many replies and such great opinions on the subject, I think I've figured out my position! My personal definition of CIO is when a parent knowingly allows a child to cry in order to train them to fall asleep on their own, without going in to comfort the child for an extended period of time (>10 min.).

Personally, I believe many children have a hard time willingly going to sleep. I think children of all ages, unless they are physically exhausted, would like to stay up 24/7 because everything is so new and exciting to them. Therefore, it is inevitable that some children will cry when put to bed. I know that there are days when I'd like to stay up until all hours - not tired, have things I want to do - however, I've learned that if I deprive my body of sleep, I will suffer the next day. Babies don't know this yet. As a parent, I feel it is my responsibility to encourage healthy sleep, though I know my baby won't always like it!

Our goal is to move DS to his pram around 6 mos. When it is time for my baby to begin sleeping through the night, I will not do CIO. However, I cannot say that he will not cry at all. I will attend to his basic needs and try to make sure he's calm once I put him down. If he starts to get fussy and cry, I will wait a few minutes, making sure his cry does not sound urgent, to see if he calms himself down. If his cry escalates, or his whining lasts for more than 5-8 minutes then I or DH will go in to calm him down. We will do this until he can feel comfortable on his own. If he cries in the middle of the night, I will make sure to attend to his needs and repeat the process. Though I hate to hear my baby cry, I also know that life is full of disappointments and though I will never try to inflict pain or sadness in my child, I feel that it is important for children to learn to self soothe, albeit in baby steps.

I am at peace with the fact that not everyone will agree with my decisions. Some may even curse me and turn their nose up at me but that's o.k. Everyone has their own comfort zones and parenting styles. That's what makes everyone so diverse and this world so interesting. The key is learning to embrace the differences in everyone and take what you can from them to better yourself!

ryansmom33 01-23-2007 11:54 AM

Re: What is "Cry It Out"?
My definition:

Letting your child cry in their bed for any length of time, even if you go in, to "train" them to fall asleep on their own.

As for helping you figure out your postion, I can't do that. And to not get flamed one way or the other, I won't state my postion on it right now either. Oh heck yes I will, I'm against it. But that's just me.

TsMom 01-23-2007 12:03 PM

Re: What is "Cry It Out"?
I define it as letting them cry for extended periods of time without going in to resettle or whatever. Basically letting them cry till they go to sleep. No one can really help you make up your mind on your position of it...its really got to be a personal choice. I choose not to let mine CIO(by my definition).

Trishalynn 01-23-2007 12:11 PM

Re: What is "Cry It Out"?
I agree with the above definitions! :thumbsup:

But I do CIO, not for hours on end, buy my kiddo will not let me rock her to sleep she hates it, so I feed her and she does get really sleepy then I put her in bed and she might cry for a few minutes and then goes to sleep! I know a lot of people don't agree with CIO, but it was the only thing that worked for us. I tried my hardest to rock dd to sleep and I'd be up usually 5-6 times a night cause she wouldn't get into a good sleep. Since I started putting her to bed semi-awake and letting her CIO I'm up once a night! So it obviously was a good thing for us.

momovthree 01-23-2007 12:18 PM

Re: What is "Cry It Out"?
We allow E to cry for a few minutes if he wakes in the middle of the night but never more than 10 minutes. And only the 10 if he is just whining, full blown crying and we go right in to check on him.

We had a couple recent episodes that have convinced me CIO is never going to be for us. I think it puts babies in physical danger. :2cents:

pottymomma 01-23-2007 12:20 PM

Re: What is "Cry It Out"?
Crying it out to me is knowingly letting your baby cry when you could be going to him/her.

urchin_grey 01-23-2007 12:30 PM

Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

Originally Posted by pottymomma (Post 666756)
Crying it out to me is knowingly letting your baby cry when you could be going to him/her.


mistylaureena 01-23-2007 12:31 PM

Re: What is "Cry It Out"?
to me crying it out is letting my child cry/fuss/whine for about 10- 20 mins because he will fight sleep if possible to which he usually always falls asleep before the 20 min mark more like 10 mins....but if it goes past 20 mins I will go get him rock him some more and let him lay with me for about 30 mins and then we will try it again.

Eta: this rountine really only lasted for about 4 days and now he usually just goes to sleep when I put him in his bed

becoming 01-23-2007 12:34 PM

Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

Originally Posted by pottymomma (Post 666756)
Crying it out to me is knowingly letting your baby cry when you could be going to him/her.

That's my definition of it, too.

And I think it's cruel. I would never leave my baby alone to wonder where mama is and why I'm not coming to comfort her. Parenting should not stop just because the parents are sick of dealing with the baby.

Proverbs169 01-23-2007 12:49 PM

Re: What is "Cry It Out"?
Well, it seems like the phrase "it out" would mean until the end- until they are asleep, no matter how long that might take. Allowing a child to fuss for a few minutes isn't the same as allowing an infant to cry for an hour or longer. IMO they cannot be in the same catagory.

I have a baby that is a year old next month. When we put her down at night, she will from time to time fuss for a few minutes. To me that isn't a big deal. She KNOWS that it's bed time. She would like it to be play time instead. Not gonna happen. I know my children well enough to know their different cries. Some people would consider this CIO, but I certainly don't.

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