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-   -   A no-carry baby? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=990229)

jeebee 05-19-2010 02:06 PM

A no-carry baby?
 
I'm sad that it just seems like my little one doesn't really like being worn. I have tried various carriers, I used the sling the first few weeks, but she started to squirm all the time in it and it wasn't comfortable anymore for me. So we bought an infant insert for the ergo, but that's never really been very comfortable for me either as she spends most of the time pushing against me with her arms so I'm constantly leaning back and end up with a backache. So that was a waste of money since we've barely used it! I then got a Moby, and the only position she likes is to be face forward, which isn't really comfortable for me for long periods and it doesn't really help me to get things done as I can't bend over easily without hitting her head on things. Any other position she tenses up and wriggles the entire time and sounds like she's straining. I'm so sad! I thought all babies loved to be carried, I wore my ODD in the ergo until she was 19 months (and I was 5 months pregnant and I couldn't wear her anymore!). I'm now getting ANOTHER carrier, a mei tai, lol! Will I find something that works? She seriously just seems to be happier when I put her down, I carried her home today in the ergo a few blocks, and she strained and pushed the entire time, we got home, I changed her and put her straight in bed and she went to sleep! She is happy to sit in the stroller, she never complains, and she doesn't even really want to be held all the time. I also find when I'm holding her it seems like she is constantly rooting, even if she has just been fed. Maybe that's why she can't relax in a carrier, she wants to eat as soon as she is near me? Has anybody else experienced this?

Overthinking Everything 05-19-2010 02:10 PM

Re: A no-carry baby?
 
My little one hated every carrier / sling I tried, especially when he was 0-6 months. He wanted to be held up high, near my shoulder where he could look around. When he would let me "wear" him, it was outward facing in a bjorn. Every now and then he'd ride on my back in the Ergo, but this was when he was closer to a year. And at that point, he wanted to get down and run around anyway (yeah, he was running months before he was 1 year!) He didn't like the stroller, though--so you're a lucky lady on that one! =)

Newton 05-19-2010 02:16 PM

Re: A no-carry baby?
 
My DD has never liked to be carried, I had great plans but she had other ones. Everytime I see a mom at the mall with their lo in a carrier and me lugging my stroller I wish I had the option.

jeebee 05-19-2010 02:19 PM

Re: A no-carry baby?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Newton (Post 10291907)
My DD has never liked to be carried, I had great plans but she had other ones. Everytime I see a mom at the mall with their lo in a carrier and me lugging my stroller I wish I had the option.

Yep! That is what I hate! I have to either use a MASSIVE P+T's (I love it, don't get me wrong but it's heavy etc) and sometimes i just want to use my easy little Maclaren for the toddler and have LO in a carrier... sigh.

doodah 05-19-2010 02:20 PM

Re: A no-carry baby?
 
yes there are some kids that hate being worn. My older is one of them. I tried multiple carriers and she really didn't even care to be held that much. She didn't hate it, she just didn't love it. What she really wanted was for daddy to hold her. From day one, she always preferred daddy. She still does and she is 2.5 years now. It was definitely something that I had to get used and not take it personally when she just wasn't as connected with me. I would spend so much time with her, breast fed, etc. and she just was always so independent. Her favorite phrase for the moment is "do it myself"! I remember I cried when she gave me a hug on her own for the first time and she was 18 months. I think the important thing is to parent to your particular child and not try to push them into a mold that they just don't care to or just can't fit in. She now does hug, sit on my lap and very occasionally let me rock her. Now my younger is attached to me like she still wants to be in the womb! LOL so I I do get to finally baby wear and get those baby snuggles in. I would try that MT, OP, but if she really doesn't like it then just find other ways to bond with her. My older was all about playing, going places, exploring, so that is what we did together. I think we are close now because she trusts me to just let her be the way she was born to be. You CAN have a close bond with out being physically close all the time. I would follow her lead and go from there. Good luck!

jeebee 05-19-2010 02:26 PM

Re: A no-carry baby?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by doodah (Post 10291950)
yes there are some kids that hate being worn. My older is one of them. I tried multiple carriers and she really didn't even care to be held that much. She didn't hate it, she just didn't love it. What she really wanted was for daddy to hold her. From day one, she always preferred daddy. She still does and she is 2.5 years now. It was definitely something that I had to get used and not take it personally when she just wasn't as connected with me. I would spend so much time with her, breast fed, etc. and she just was always so independent. Her favorite phrase for the moment is "do it myself"! I remember I cried when she gave me a hug on her own for the first time and she was 18 months. I think the important thing is to parent to your particular child and not try to push them into a mold that they just don't care to or just can't fit in. She now does hug, sit on my lap and very occasionally let me rock her. Now my younger is attached to me like she still wants to be in the womb! LOL so I I do get to finally baby wear and get those baby snuggles in. I would try that MT, OP, but if she really doesn't like it then just find other ways to bond with her. My older was all about playing, going places, exploring, so that is what we did together. I think we are close now because she trusts me to just let her be the way she was born to be. You CAN have a close bond with out being physically close all the time. I would follow her lead and go from there. Good luck!

Thanks- that does make me feel better. I feel like i totally redundant mom with her, she just seems happier to be put down all the time. She is such an easy baby, TOO easy. I feel like I barely do anything for her... just plop her in bed with a pacifier and she goes to sleep without a fuss. I guess I do feel lucky in some ways, but in I miss the contact!

doodah 05-19-2010 02:38 PM

Re: A no-carry baby?
 
well if it makes you feel any better, some easy babies are so demanding as toddlers, ha ha
Maybe she is storing up reserves to let loose at a later date and then you will have your hands full. LOL

Just go with it. Count your blessings for the child you have and enjoy seeing her happy in whatever way makes her happy. It is surprising when you see little ones with such particular personalities at such a young age. Perhaps she just really enjoys her independence and naturally has a mellow personality. Obviously you are doing something right because she would let you know if you weren't. Also remember that just because you are person that enjoys physical affection does not mean that you will have kids that are that way. We are all individuals and it does make parenting easier when you come to terms with that. You can influence your kids, teach them and love them but you can't change who they are. You just work with what ya get!

THBVsMama 05-19-2010 03:23 PM

Re: A no-carry baby?
 
So far the only position that Emma is content is sort of facing out. I'm not up to par with my baby wearing lingo, so let me get a pic of it from the Sleepy Wrap website. If I wrap her facing me she starts squirming and protesting.

http://www.sleepywrap.com/uploads/im...llery2/160.JPG

Not claiming this photo as myself or my daughter. It was on the SW site.

I think it may have to do with wanting to explore the world around her, and when she's facing me she can't.

Or she may just not really love the wrap, either. I ordered a mei tai from FG so once it arrives I'll see how she fares in that one. I"m hoping she starts loving it because I love BWing. If she hates the MT, though, I'll just put my carriers away and hope that my next babe is more fond of them.

MrsLiberty 05-19-2010 04:26 PM

Re: A no-carry baby?
 
My son hates being carried. When he was younger, he'd let me wear him occasionally (although it was always at very inopportune times!) but was a lot more interested in being free to move around and look around as he pleased. He's still super independent at 16 months. He prefers not to be carried. He likes to walk, and is pretty good about holding hands. He's not all that happy in a stroller most of the time either. He just hates being restrained for very long. It's just who he is.

My daughter was the polar opposite, total sling baby, any sling, any time. She'd probably still want to be worn if I'd do it, but being that she's almost 7 years old, I don't see that happening. :giggle2: All kids are different when it comes to this kind of thing. Mine are opposites!

jeebee 05-19-2010 04:32 PM

Re: A no-carry baby?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsLiberty (Post 10293044)
My son hates being carried. When he was younger, he'd let me wear him occasionally (although it was always at very inopportune times!) but was a lot more interested in being free to move around and look around as he pleased. He's still super independent at 16 months. He prefers not to be carried. He likes to walk, and is pretty good about holding hands. He's not all that happy in a stroller most of the time either. He just hates being restrained for very long. It's just who he is.

My daughter was the polar opposite, total sling baby, any sling, any time. She'd probably still want to be worn if I'd do it, but being that she's almost 7 years old, I don't see that happening. :giggle2: All kids are different when it comes to this kind of thing. Mine are opposites!

Lol! Yep, mine is almost 2.5 and honestly the other day I did put the baby in the swing and put DD in the ergo to do some cooking. Lol. Today we were out for lunch and I had DD in the Maclaren and she was protesting, and I was just about to put her in the carrier and push the baby around in the stroller so that I could get home without a fight! Then I just figured that would be totally ridiculous, lol!


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