Re: You know all those things that "baby trainers" acuse babies of...
Throwing tantrums is part of a 3 year olds job. It is their job to try to get you to do whatever they want. That's how their brains are wired, to be selfish. I'm sure it reassures them when mommy or daddy jump up 15 times to get 15 different snacks. If you are consistent she will learn that her world is not ending just because mommy didn't do exactly what she wants. The choices thing is great. What worked for me was seeing the actual tantrum as something I couldn't stop, just my son. So i would put him in a safe space, tell him I would talk when he was done, and leave. He only got those few words from me, no I'm sorrys, nothing to reinforce the tantrum. Tears I would talk through but not tantrums. We really had very few tantrums (relatively) maybe 1 a week for awhile, he still has about 1 a month (he's 5) when he's tired, but they are short lived.
Suzi, working mama to my ODS(2004)
and married to the love of my life