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Old 04-16-2010, 09:10 AM   #7
Bear Family
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sacramento California
Posts: 679
Re: Please help with my 6yo dd

Quote:
Originally Posted by massbb2 View Post
Having a similarly stubborn 6 yo ds myself, I can relate to your frustration.

It's hard being in the moment and knowing if we've made the right decisions disciplining our children. We're you reacting when she acted inappropriately on the slide? Could you have talked to her instead of at her about it? I don't know. I know if I react (and believe me, I do sometimes), it only winds my ds up even more.

When she calmed down and wanted to go back to the park. Did you have time do? In the end, teaching a lesson is far more important than punishment. If you didn't have time, perhaps offer to play outside for a little bit and go back to the park tomorrow. Spanking her AFTER she calmed down doesn't seem appropriate to me at all. But, spanking in general, I don't agree with.

One thing I do with my children is tell them it is never too late to turn their attitudes around. Otherwise, at that point, why would they bother if they are already being punished. KWIM?

Get to the library and take out Proactive Parenting, Beyond Punishment and Rewards. She talks a lot about getting one step ahead of our children.

HTH.
Thanks for responding...

At the park, I thought by my telling her already once, not to do that, and then her doing it again, and then telling me no, and then running from me...my reaction of telling her to sit here with me till she can make better choices was a good, calm reaction to her behavior. It was what she did after that moment that changed the whole day.

She never calmed down...at all. The whole way home from the park she was screaming and throwing a fit and being unreasonable, right up to the front door. I am not a huge fan of spanking, but it happends on occasion, and I agree that spanking after the fact is NOT okay. Even if she reacted like that at the park and then walked home witha better attitude and did not throw the tantrum she did then I wouldn't have done it, because by then, the bad attitude and choices would have been 2 blocks behind us. Even after I spanked her and and put her in the corner. She didn't completly calm down and relax till an hour after she was sitting there.

Jera knows all about choices and what choices she should make. I tell her everyday, "have a good day, and make good choices" She know that her behavior is her choice and that it is hers to make. She knows that if she makes the wrong choice then she can do what she needs to do to make the right choice.
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