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Old 04-16-2010, 10:43 AM   #16
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Re: SIL dilikes my child. Cousins can't play.

Originally Posted by R055ANA View Post
hi there!

I am sprry that you and your family are going thru this tough situation. While I would have been deeply hurt by my SIL doing this I would try to keep in mind how difficult things are for her and her daughter.

You have the spouse, the sweet daughter and she seems to be struggling and all this comparing children might have her thinking that her child isn't up to par with yours.

Here are some things that I suggest:
-do limit your contact w/ SIL and A* but don't speak badly of either in front of your child. This will cause you trouble if SIL wants to make peace later on.
-offer your child the opportunity to get together with other children and if she asks about playing w/ A* say something about A* not being able to come over at this time.

The great thing about this is that you and DH are on the same page on this issue. I would try to see things form her point of view and just pray that things get better for her. I know things must be really tough for her.

Best wishes,
I never thought she might think A* wasn't up to par with mine. Thats sad. Because I never brought up their differences. It makes me sad that she'd be looking to compare them. I didn't compare them until after the meltdown (looking back) because I think thats mean. And now I'm upset that she has encouraged me to compare them now.

I think she hates men because all this was said to my husband, and they used to get along wonderfully until her divorce. She only complained about HIS parenting. She thinks I'm a saint apparently because she didn't/wouldn't say this stuff to me. She even praised my CDing this new baby saying she wanted to CD A* (allergies) but her then husband wouldn't let her (no wonder she hates men). The thing is DH and I are a united front and we do parent almost the same, so a qualm with him and my child IS a qualm with me. So apparently I am great and I am trying really hard, she thinks I shouldn't have got out of the Navy to SAHM though because we made good $$.
mom of Sophia (09/2005) and Iris (6/2010) + one on the way
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