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Old 04-16-2010, 10:53 AM   #17
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descrstn
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Re: SIL dilikes my child. Cousins can't play.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RobynJ View Post
I am by no means justifying her actions. They were out of line. My sons is allergic to everything too. It makes you a little crazy to not always be able to protect your child. There are always reminders that your child (no matter how uniquely wonderful) is different. It does make you hover and treat that child differently. I know it isn't my fault that he has these allergies- but I still feel guilty. Sophie - in how great you are raising her- might be activating insecurities that your sil already has about herself and her child.

My son is smart, caring, and charming- but he will never be able to just go to a birthday party without phone calls ahead of time, special arrangements, etc. Every time he gets sick (he doesn't get anaphylaxis he wakes up screaming with stomach pains at night then horrible stomach problems for days after) I wish I could have done more to keep him safe that day. I think we can be the most vicious to our families... I am not saying she deserves a free pass. She has to live with this and be considerate of others... just saying- it might be more than what it appears to be.
I know the allergies are bad. I was accomodating to them I showed her the idea of food "rotating" menu so she doesn't get allergic to MORE things (her allergy list will grow if she relies on any one thing too much, like she became allregic to soymilk after too much usage so now its rice, almond, hazelnut, hemp on a 4 day rotation)

I know things are hard for her and I used to know her before being a mom, so she has changed a lot. She wasn't this uptight, and now man-hating. It makes me really sad. I thought we could help her out though. I still do feel bad for her even though my feelings are hurt too. Her life is kinda unfair and hard. But sometimes its like she doesn't WAN'T anyone else in her life.

Hopefully things get better by the holidays.
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