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Old 06-13-2006, 03:10 PM   #4
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bfoster2000
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Re: For those who had difficult pregnancies

Thanks mamas. I think it was Prozac that my MW said was her personal preference but like I said, I had read that it's better to take a break between pregnancy and nursing so maybe I need to look into what the risks are if you don't. The funny thing is, I really wanted to get pregnant. We weren't TTC, but *I* wanted another baby. Now, I just feel kind of numb. One of my cousins and one of my really good friends both just had babies (both girls - which I wanted) and I haven't even held either of them even though I've been around a lot. I look at them and think, yeah, she's cute, whatever. I started to hold my cousin's baby once but DJ freaked out so I handed the baby to my mom and took care of *my* baby. I'm scared that when this little guy is born, that's still how I'll feel...just let Grandma take the baby so I that can take care of DJ. And I'm getting all teary even thinking that because I feel so guilty but he's been my baby for two years...I've worked very hard to have the relationship we have and I can't imagine that changing. Isn't he the one that's supposed to be worried about that?

Like I said, I look at the tiny little baby clothes and see more laundry. This past weekend, I was *sure* that I was in labor for real and the baby was coming but I told dh that I didn't want to rush into the hospital because I was afraid they'd try to stop it. I'm just shy of 34 weeks so it is early, but what kept going through my mind was that the baby will live...even if he has to stay in the hospital for a while I just want this pregnancy over with. And again, just thinking that way I feel horrible. And I know that if anything is wrong with this baby or if anything happens to him, I will never forgive myself but what can you do? I guess that's why I'm asking if it's normal or if I need to be worried about these feelings. I'm scheduled to see my MW again on Monday so I'll talk to her then. I tried to reschedule for sometime this week but she's all booked up, the only appointment I could get is with her OB husband on Friday and I REALLY don't like him. I guess I'll just wait and see what she says on Monday...
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