Re: Opinions needed please!!!
I can only tell you what we did. But who knows how it would've worked out doing it differently.
Our boys are nearly 7 years apart(short by only 2 weeks). I wanted to wait until our oldest was in school FT so he wouldn't feel like he was being replaced or me feel like I was overwhelmed with not feeling like I had enough time for both of them.
Plus I wanted both kids to know what it was like to have mama all to themselves for their young childhood time.
I know lots of mamas do it with littles at the same time, but I chose not to go that route. To each his own(KWIM?)
I have done home daycare since my oldest was 6mos. He was with me 24/7/365 for 5 years. I wanted his brother to feel that too. So when Jonah was 6, we started TTC. And brother was born almost a year later.
I haven't regretted it, not once. The older dotes on the younger. The younger thinks brother is the coolest thing ever. They each need us in different ways. They are into different things. There is no competition for attention or friends or things. They don't feel like only's.
Sure, there is a tiny part of me that thinks maybe just doing 5-6 years of daycare with them both little vs 10-12 years of daycare with them separated might have been nice for the old pocketbook and dreams go, but them having that special time with mommy was more important to me. And with my oldest being Autistic, I dunno if I could've done all I was able to do for him if he had a closer in age sibling. SN kids take time. Lots of intense one on one time. And my hubby would've had a nervous breakdown with financial worries with two littles. Which means he would've drove me crazy too. Divorce was probably likely. 2 littles would've been bad, very bad, for us.
But we only know what we do have, not what didn't. Who knows. I don't think there is a magic answer.