08-31-2010, 12:13 PM
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Arlington, Tx
Re: Grr picky DH is screwing with dinner!
I totally agree with you on this. My DH goes to school full time and works almost full time. I KNOW that my DH is picky. So if I want something that I know he won't like, I accomodate him.
Originally Posted by maxeygirls
Wow I got a lot of negative comments about DH needing to fend for himself and had planned to just ignore them in favor of just listening to helpful suggestions but I have to say something.
When DH isn't deployed to some place or another, he works a civilian job requiring 6 days of work and 60+ hours in those 6 days. If the girls are entertaining themselves while I'm cooking he will come in and help me but I would rather see him playing with our girls than cooking dinner.
DH has been gone for half of our marriage, half of DD1's life and almost all of DD2's life. While I do expect some help around the house when he's home, most of the help is stuff he can do while spending time with our girls such as bath time, picking up toys, washing dishes with DD1 and vacuuming with our vacuum-riding DD2. Our time is always limited, I will do anything I can to make sure that the time he has with us is spent with his children and enjoying home life.
In a traditional family where the husband is home 90% of the year, even if he works long hours I can agree with telling him to figure out his own dinner if the planned meal isn't something he likes. In our home I'd rather make sure that DH enjoys his meals and our family time at the dinner table since he eats so many meals in a DFAC and out of brown plastic bags. They suck, trust me I did it for long enough.
For instance, I love mild fish, DH, not so much. So if I'm making fish for the boys and myself, I make my husband a chicken breast.. I season it similarly and am sure to do a sauce or side that will compliment both. I mean really... it's not that much extra work to bread and fry a piece of chicken breast when you're making eggplant parm.. eggplant and chicken parm are the same thing dish except one has meat and one doesn't.
I will often also ASK DH "Honey, what would you like for dinner? I have a pound of beef, and we have chicken." If he says "I don't know, whatever." (which is a common answer) then I'll think up a meal and "run it by him." Or I'll come up with 3 options and let him pick (as was the case last night). He doesn't like veggies.. so I "hide them" in spaghetti sauce or meat loaf, so that he's at least getting SOME, but doesn't have to deal with their flavors.
I also frequently will make a menu for the week and ask him "Any special requests?" And then I'll show him my menu and ask him if there is anything on there that he'd rather not eat. If there is, I take the meal off and replace with something else, or I make a mental note to alter it for him by making him something slightly different.
I don't stick to the menu as closely as "Monday we're having X and Tuesday we're having Y." Instead it's just 7 meals on a paper, including a few "easy" meals, and then I just fix whichever meal on whatever day that I feel like it.
So that's how *I* deal with *MY* picky husband.
And he does help me if I'm making a meal that has several components (which some of his favorites do). Or he takes care of and plays with the boys while I'm cooking the easier meals.
I dunno, maybe I'm just grateful for all my husband does for us and want to make him feel loved and appreciated... the "fend for himself" nights usually happen if he's hungry for a snack after dinner, or if we had a late lunch so didn't really eat a dinner, we will occasionally do a "fend for yourself" night.
And he DOES truly appreciate that I like to cook for him, and that I am willing to make certain accomodations knowing that he can be picky.