09-08-2010, 02:19 PM
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...
It sounds like you are already being as discreet as possible, and while I don't think you should "flaunt" NIP as a response, I don't think you should have to hide either.
Your child is a member of the church as well, just as much as this other man. I know not everyone agrees with that, but it is my personal opinion. I think it is crucial for children to be treated as a part of church, and not inconveniences. Successful spiritual development in a child is due in large part to community, and being welcomed and accepted in that community of believers. Perhaps your pastor needs a reminder that this is not just you as a member against him as a member, but your child is one as well.
If a mother is more comfortable and she and her child will benefit from the solace of a nursing mothers room, she should certainly make use of it. Perhaps she would be too preoccupied with keeping her little one quiet or from distracting others, and would therefore be able to absorb more in a tucked away room should she so choose.
But women and children should not be forced into that segregation simply because the child has physical needs that must be met in addition to his spiritual ones.
Hmm, let me find an excerpt from an author who says it better than I can. Ivy Beckwith -
Living in faith community is not always easy, but I think it is truly the most enriching when people who are different come together to journey together on the same path - and that group included "different" people like children and nursing mothers.
Faith is not something that develops in a vacuum. Having faith, understanding faith, exploring faith, and questioning faith are not solo activities. These things are meant to be done with others who are on the same path or looking for the same path. These things are meant to be done with people older than us, the same age as us, and younger than us. These things are meant to be done with people who look, think, and live differently than we do.
I don't think the answer is to sequester you and any other nursing moms in a room away from the rest of the church in an attempt to ignore the issue at hand.
What keeps the man from having lustful thoughts about what you are doing in your glaring absence since he knows what you are doing simply because you are not in the sanctuary? Should the women begin wearing loose, sack dresses so not even a hint of the curvature of one's breast can be seen? Veils over their faces?
If a man is handsome, and causes a woman to think lustful thoughts about how great his butt looks in those pants, should he be required to go about church in a wheelchair so as not to cause the woman to stumble as she watches his glorious backside walk by?
Or maybe some personal accountability needs to be in place as well. It is certainly my place to help my brothers and sisters in their walk. It is also my place to help them be accountable for THEIR sins, in a firm and loving way. Hiding away and pretending that a member isn't lusting inappropriately does not fix that member's issues. It is not as if the OP is whipping out a bare boob, walking around with it hanging out, and telling the man "OMG stop lusting!" She is already being discreet and mindful of others in her actions.
wife to my best friend P 7/05, mom to my funny bunny girl E 1/09 (ASD, apraxia of speech), whirlwind lady L 7/11
If $25 can buy a child for a night
, it can also give a child
a safe home for a month. Love146
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through safe housing, therapy, nutrition, medical care, education...and something every child needs, a home full of love and care
Last edited by Magpiedpiper; 09-08-2010 at 02:26 PM.