Join Date: May 2009
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Re: *Wednesday Sept 8.10**
I've tried telling him, but he just blows me off like I'm whining or being hormonal. It's the exact way his father treated his mother in the beginning of their marriage, too. Of course, their marriage is hunky dory now. I'll try your SPICE thing, but he doesn't go to church with me and hasn't really gone since he moved out of his parents house. That's the only thing I see being a problem. Thanks for the advice, though.....it's something I need.
Originally Posted by howmanykids
have you expressed to him that you odn't feel that he is interested in the bond you two have together? does he have an answer? I don't have any answers for you...i just know when dh and i are feeling "apart" (ok, ok, when i feel we are growing in different directions) we make another effort to go on dates, leave love notes in lunch boxes, and write messages on mirrors (crayola bath crayons are AWESOME at writing on mirrors!!)
Have you ever heard of SPICE? its an acronym that is used to help especially when planning a date night. Your marriage needs to have SPICE all the time to thrive....
Spiritual ~ prayering together (going to church together, prayers at bedtime, before meals.
Physical ~NOT always DTD, but holding hands, back rubs, etc...
Intellectual~TALKING if we cant find things to talk about, i read a passage from "sex, love and marriage by Christopher West"..always something to talk about after that!
Creativity~ leaving messages, planning a special date night where you plan everything for what HE wants, and vice versa
Emotional~ being interested in each other's day..learning what he does at work, so he can talk about it, Roger knowing that when i say "yeah, i'm fine" doesn't always mean that I really am.
This might sound hokey, but if you can get him to sit down for a heart to heart, tell him how you feel, and tell him you would like to try a few of these things, it MIGHT help a little?
you write them down and put them on the fridge. the letters are supposed to be arranged on a wheel (like a pie chart) with each section equal to remind you that each part is as important as the next...not one should be too large, or too small.
just an idea....you can throw it out the window, or laugh if you want....you won't hurt my feelings. It just what Roger and I do.
I'll look that DVD series up. Maybe I can get his parent's on board to watch Bray so we can watch that............
Originally Posted by Kealii
Heather - glad your day is going well! so happy to hear that, especially after a rough start!
Katie - 2.5 inches in like 3 months?? that's nuts! Hope you can get the vax stuff figured out!
Thiele - have fun on the date with your DD, sounds really sweet.
Alisha - FX for fluffy mail! GL with cleaning too!! DD just went down for a nap, so now I'm on here trying to decide if I should clean now, or take a nap and try to recoup my losses from last night's 3 hours of sleep... hehe, not quite sure which to choose!
Korin - Stole your trash can?? that's just weird... I had to laugh, one of the games my DH likes is Call of Duty too, but I like it too
and the funny thing is, he'd MUCH rather play with me than online with friends even, the only times he plays games solo on xbox is when I want to knit, and then I'm still sitting by him anyway. I've even recruited a couple of other wives of DHs friends to play, so we'll have game nights with friends where that's what we do, guys and gals all playing a war game. I know... I'm weird
but hey, I've started to get pretty good and nothing's much more fun than killing your soldier husband in a war game every once in a while!!
Cecili - There's a DVD series called Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage by Mark Gungor that's absolutely hysterical, and very good material too, but it doesn't feel like torture to sit and watch it kwim? We use it for our marriage retreats with the army and have yet to have anyone say anything negative, and we've had well over 60 couples in our unit alone who have seen it, not to mention the other units that I know that have used it, it's always well-received, with people laughing like crazy... might be something that would be more palatable to him? I don't know, I can't get mine to read either, so I just do it, at least it helps my attitude, lol There's also the Love Dare, that's pretty much one-sided so you read it and it has ways to treat your husband to eventually affect a response out of him. The movie Fireproof is based off of it, good movie too.
I know it can be rough sometimes!
We've seen the Love Dare movie and I checked the book out, but it lacked soemthing for me, not sure what.
I know money is tight, but if I can fine another strategy board game that is perfect for two players, maybe I can get him to splurge so we have something Different to do!! Things were going great this weekend with DTD 3X, but then they just fizzled.
I'll keep working on it.........as usual.
So I got a call about my appt tomorrow. She gave me an est. total of $240 for the office consult and said insurance covers the U/S, but I told her I hadn't met my deductible yet so It maybe more more like $450. UGH. Look!!! More medical bills. And our pics are next wednesday and that's $200. I swear he's deivorce me if it weren't for the child support.
Thankfully we can get on a payment plan!!
Christina!!!! I'm glad you made there and back safe!!! sorry the kiddos got sick, but only 13 more days and you're a family again!!!!
:wave2: Wife to Bryan
(5-15-04) Momma to Brayden
(2-5-08) Clara Reece (11-24-10)
And Bennett Lane (3-27-13)