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Old 11-05-2010, 12:58 PM   #13
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Formerly: FaeryGnomeHome
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 16,561
Re: Tired of the questions...

I got that with my girls too. My middle daughter was a 34weeker and she came home on an apnea monitor around 5lbs even. I had an active duty military husband so I didn't have the luxury of having family to grocery shop for me to keep her home so we were out at wal-mart getting the rest of what we needed for her once she was about 3 weeks old(had been home a week). (ya know, since she still wasn't technically supposed to be born yet for another few weeks and I was utterly unprepared.) People would make the comments about her being so tiny and blah blah blah and see her apnea monitor and say, "oh what's wrong with her?" Ummmmmmmmm, really? We always responded with, "nothing. she's absolutely perfect." People would stammer to correct themselves and their phrasing of the question and I'd walk away leaving them stuttering. Honestly, I don't care if my kid is purple with pink polka dots. You don't ask a mother of a child attached to a monitor of any sort, "what's wrong with her?" That's horribly mean. You might see a proud new mom and adorable tiny babe and be curious but what you don't see is the exhaustion and fear and anxiety about taking your kid into public or the hours it took getting ready to go out or the raw bleeding spots on the baby's chest from sticky leads or the panic mom has when the monitor alarms for the 5th time that day when her tiny baby stops breathing. No one sees that or thinks of that when they ask that question. And honestly, it didn't bother me as much when little kids asked. They are just curious. We would explain it. But if you are an adult, you are capable of using a little more tact in your phrasing and you don't deserve an answer if you ask that way. Talk to me. Tell me, "your baby is just beautiful. congratulations. I see her monitor. Was she born early? Was she born unhealthy?" I don't have issue with curiosity. But asking me what's wrong with her is incredibly rude.
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