Re: Am I being unreasonable? (sorry...long)
I dunno, maybe it's my age, but what I'm reading here absolutely shocks me. Since when did birth become a spectator sport??? I don't display my private parts for crowds, or even for family (except DH)! Neither my mom nor my inlaws would dream of intruding unasked at such a time. This time around, for several reasons I asked my mom if she'd LIKE to be present, and she was uncomfortable with the idea. Heck, I don't barge in on my 16 y.o. DD's checkups.
Their "right" to be there, or to hold the baby when you're just getting used to the idea of his arrival? How about your right to privacy, recovery and family time? I'm all for the "don't tell till you're ready for the visit" approach.
If you're in a hospital, once the baby is born, you might be able to enlist the nurses to keep him in the nursery for a while, and tell visitors to come at a scheduled time when all they can do is look.
If anyone tried to give me a hard time about this, I'd smile and say in my best "mommy voice," "Don't worry -- if you're a little patient, you'll get a turn, too. Right now, it's Mommy's turn." Let them know with some humor that they're acting childish.
Linda -- proud mom of Rachel (20), Joshua (15), Elisheva (7), and Moshe (3), and 2 wonderful grown stepdaughters.