Re: Am I being unreasonable? (sorry...long)
I don't think you're being unreasonable, and if your family thinks you are, then I think it's best to "forget" calling any of them until you're up for company.
We're calling a total of 4 people: My brother and best friend (because they live so far away), our other friend (who is going to help with the kids), and my son's service coordinator (so my son's services can be put on hold for a month). And that's it. We don't plan on calling anyone else, and to be honest, I feel much better about it. I don't want to talk on the phone, or hold a conversation while I'm trying to give birth. And I especially don't want to have people surrounding me and trying to grab my baby out of my arms after the fact! So, only those 4 people will know, and it will probably be about a week or 2 before anyone else is told.
Put your foot down, mama. You deserve to be treated with respect regarding this (and alot of other stuff too) from your family members. If they can't act like adults, then don't tell them. And let me say, my mouth dropped when I read what your MIL, FIL, and father did! OMG! I would have been livid!!!