Re: how to make the choice to have another, when you know you can't SAHM?
Your next pregnancy might be different. It is a huge commitment but I do personally know of moms that have their kids in full time daycare AND pump....they rarely if ever do formula so it is possible.
I guess you just have to decide what is more important...having another baby no matter what even if that means not being a SAHM OR not having a baby because you could not provide all that you wanted to provide.
For me, I wouldn't let not being able to bf be a reason to not have another baby. If you do truly feel strongly about it, then you are absolutely welcome to feel that way. I just think there is so much more to being a mom than breastfeeding. You could be a great mom and still have your child formula fed and in daycare. My biggest concern would be being away from my child and not being able to spend the time that I did with the first one.