Re: how to make the choice to have another, when you know you can't SAHM?
Is your job flexible at all? I telecommute so I get the best of both worlds and my job has me 24x7 I do have to travel at times, luckily I can genreally take my kid with me while they're under 2 and I have friends the baby stays with while I"m in the office. We have an au pair in the house for regular days (and when I travel, like in 2 weeks), she watches the kids, and I still get to nurse mostly on demand.
Another thought is if you can petition your HR to have day care on site? If you put it now, they may be able to look into it - and then you can nurse during the day as well.
Also, check out a LLL meeting - even if you're not nursing now, I know many women who've benefited from going while pregnant, and one because she's planning to adopt, to figure out what to do "in the event" or at least get supprort.
We're hard enough on ourselves - do what you need to do to do what's best for your family. If you know you'll feel guilty about something, then do something about it. Either find a way to not feel guilty (is that even possible?) or change the circumstances Otherwise, I'm sure you'll later feel guilty about not even having the baby! Darn mommy guilt!
another amanda | mama to viveka, my sunshine & rohan, my vbac toddler
tandeming | content contributor
full-time telecommuting | unequally-yoked Catholic Wife
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Paying for two in child care? An au pair
may be cheaper! Great for families who need flexibility!