UPDATE: Please keep my baby girl in your prayers
4/21/2011 - Hey Mama's. I just got home from my appt with my perinatologist with some very upsetting news. In 4 days I will be 23 weeks and my doc is admitting me to the hospital for the duration of the pregnancy. They will be monitoring her development and administering steroids to help her chances of survival.
I can't stop crying.... the thought of losing her is unbearable. I don't want to be without my 2 young boys either but I know its best for baby girl. They're admitting me because the placental abruption I was diagnosed with at 18 weeks has progressed and the OB seems unpleasantly sure that we will not make it to term. I just want my baby to be ok! I want her to be able to nurse and cuddle and live. I know all the statistics on my situation.... that if my abruption stays exactly as it is now, baby girl can make it with no problems but if it continues to progress, delivery will be necessary and every week the latter will increase her chances. I
I'm trying so hard to be strong but the tears keep coming. The truth is I'm terrified. I watched my best friend deliver her baby girl at 26 wks and all the problems she had. None of that matters as long as my baby lives though right?? But then she won't be able to nurse, she'll be so fragile. I honestly don't know what I am capable of handling at this point.............
Please ladies..... please keep my baby girl in your hearts and in your prayers. That she may be strong and healthy enough to come through this unscathed. And My family too.... that my boys won't miss mommy too much while I'm away, that my DH has the patience and strength to carry this burden of having to play MR. Mom and for my mother, who will be picking up any slack that MR. Mom can't handle.
UPDATE 4/27/2011 - So it's day 3 in the hospital and I was emergency rushed into L&D after some cramping lead to a stat u/s that reavealed my 3cm placental abruption has now spread to a 10cm abruption (the entire length of the placenta at my GA is just over 11cm)
So here I am.... hooked up to an IV receiving fluids and pain meds (that I can control) in one hand, a hep lock and the other hand (for the blood transfusion they are so sure I will need at delivery) and monitors on the belly 24/7. Not aloud up at all so I'm peeing in a bed pan (don't know how #2 works yet since I haven't had to go). My Priest came to see me today with communion, annointing of the sick and confession which made me feel much more at peace with the situation..... I've been crying since I got the u/s at 11am, it's 7:30pm now and I can finally see through my tears enough to write this post!
My OB has explained to me that he believes we will be delivering within the next few days so they administerred steroids on Monday and Tuesday... I guess thats really all that can be done. From here on out, all I can do is pray... a lot.
We've picked a name for our DD, Shaelynn Annmarie- the first name means "descendant if the fortunate one". I think it's fitting because if we get through this, I'd say we're pretty fortunate! As of today, she weighs 1lb6ozs and she is very active. I got to watch her grab her feet and suck her thumb, kick and wiggle and dance. She's beautiful already! I got pictures to show to my 2 boys at home but since everything happened so fast today, the kiddos couldn't make it to the hospital so I just told them they would see her pic tomorrow and my 4y/o said "I already know shes just at pretty as you Mommy, I bet she is perfect". My heart melted and I had to give the phone to my husband b/c I couldn't keep the tears out of my voice. No matter what happens.... I know I'm blessed.
Anyway Mama's, please please I beg of you to continue with the prayers, thoughts and hugs being sent our way. I know deep down that they are helping to keep us going. Thank you Mama's! I will be thinking of all of you as well.