Re: Should I stay home?
Gosh, there are all sorts of factors in this decision.
First, I will say that even the get out of debt guru Dave Ramsey always says to have kids first. I even once heard him tell a couple to put their debt snowball on hold to save to pay for an IVF.
Second, I think 84 hours a week working is CUH-RAZY. I think it's crazy when single non-parents do it and I think it's extra crazy when parents do it. If there was some sort of investment involved, like say doing a doctor's residency where you are learning and working towards a higher paying position or something, where it's a temporary situation, that's a bit more understandable. But that doesn't seem to be the case with this.
Third, the other side of the coin says that $24k in debt is really a small amount and at a rate of $1500 a month, you are talking about being debt free in 18 months or less. When you put that against a rate of $500 a month having you out of debt in like 4 yrs, that's a big difference and something to consider.
Fourth, you mentioned being tired of putting other kids first...but you can stop that without quitting the jobs. Start treating all of the kids equally-each kid gets their own day to decide the activities. Each kid gets their own day to decide lunch, etc. And, as another poster mentioned, if it's possible, see if you can take the kids at your house. If you aren't at their house to mess it up, it will still stay clean. Since you are already considering quiting, you could put it like "I really need to start watching your children in my own home. If that's not something that is possible, I am going to need to hand in my resignation."
Another compromise to consider...could you quit just one of the jobs, then ask for a raise at the other to try to make up some of the difference in income?