Re: bfing a squirmy and fussy newborn - HELP!
sorry for my meltdown a couple of days ago. it was a rough afternoon - lots of screaming, pushing me away, unlatching, relatching... it was a mess and i thought i was going to run out the front door.
since then i've quit and gone back twice, within a few hours of feeding her formula.
so here's what's happened - i ended up quitting that night. i pumped until midday the next day (yesterday) and bottle fed her expressed milk but then i realized i couldnt keep up with pumping and take care of her while she was awake and crying so i broke down and had my MIL come over and make formula for me. i was relieved at first because i didn't have to dread feedings and stay up all day trying to find time to pump. but within a few hours, i felt awful about it. she took to the bottle great, but she drinks from it so quick and she's a comfort sucker that once she's done unless she is super tired, she's crying and putting her hand in her mouth or (the real tear jerker) putting her mouth up to my nipple while im holding her. i lost it when she did this. i knew she needed the comfort of being able to nurse on me, not an artificial nipple. i went back to breastfeeding that night. my husband sat with LO and i on the couch for 2 hours latching and relatching her, trying to get her to latch on right and to drink. we made some progress and finally got her to sleep around 1030. the middle of the night feedings were rough - my mistake, i should have woken her up and not let her sleep - she will sometimes sleep 4 or 5 hours at a time. i was so exhausted and she was so hungry and fussy that i quit again. i gave her to my husband and had him feed her a bottle of formula. he gave her an early morning bottle and let me get some rest. as soon as i woke up, i felt this heavy burden on me again. i didn't want to give up on bfing but i felt like i didn't know what else to do. i took one look at her and started sobbing. i've been bfing all day since her 5 am feeding. i'm trying to wake her and feed her every 2 to 2.5 hours. she's still fighting me. her latches are still not totally right and i have my moments where i think i'm going to throw in the towel again but i'm sticking to it.
my husband called the hospital lactation consultant today too and we have an appt. @ 11 tomorrow so i'm praying that helps.
thank you for your support and prayers. glad to know it has gotten better for so many people : )