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Old 06-18-2011, 01:19 PM   #5
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Location: Brooklyn, NY
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Re: I HATE BFING!!!!!!!

I hear you. And believe me: You are not alone!

I know how great BFing is, etc., etc., etc. And sometimes I really do enjoy the bonding time. But there are many aspects of it I hated. Which I am just remembering now with my two-week old DD.

My DS was "extremely fussy," woudln't take a pacifier, wouldn't touch frozen BM, would sometimes choke down pumped milk (so I could hardly ever leave the house for long periods unless I planned it for days in advance), woudln't sleep for more than 40 minutes at a time. It was BRUTAL.

I did, as PP mentioned, have PPD. If you think you might have it, don't suffer alone. Reach out! There are lots of moms in the SAME EXACT BOAT and you don't have to be alone. I didn't reach out--which is part of PPD. But you really don't need to feel alone in this.

And I cried when I first pumped and sometimes after that. I felt like a cow hooked up to a milking machine. It took a long time to feel comfortable and womanly after BFing--like I lost my identity as a woman and was only a milk vessel.

I was definitely not one of these blissful moms who wanted to BF forever. It's hard sometimes. For me one of the hardest things is feeling like you have no control over your own body. And then there was my DS with 20 teeth in his mouth before his first birthday who thought it was great fun to chomp down on my nipples.

I think PP offers good advice about La Leche League. The forums on Kellymom also helped me get through the worst of it.

Hang in there, mama! You really are through the worst part!

Last edited by Clavdia_Chauchat; 06-18-2011 at 01:27 PM.
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