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Old 09-16-2011, 05:03 PM   #325
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Location: Largo, Florida
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Originally Posted by joyful mother
Krisha~ You know how when you fly they have the instructions for if the plane were to go down and there is the part that says first secure the oxygen for yourself then go help others, that was where I was coming from. DH really can't handle the stress of taking on those that aren't his responsibility. If he was my brother and he moved in and we had absolutely no money, I would tell him he needs to go down to Labor Ready (temp usually one day placement jobs) and get some money for this months rent or he can sell something on Craigslist, get rid of every bill of his own for now, no phone - uses yours for jobs and gives you the money he would have used to keep his phone going, walks most everywhere or stays home except for looking for a job, absolutely no fast food, living on Mac n Cheese, no movie rentals (any of that money goes to you). He can go stand in line to get food from the food bank for the family and then he can come home and cook it while your not feeling so great, he can clean for you while you're down leaving one less thing for dh to focus on. I've watched lots of friends in your position over the years and watched the dh's blood pressure spike while family is mooching off of them. My advice is just don't let it be a free ride and make sure he knows what is expected of him.

Since dh has been unemployed so long are you getting food assistance, if so let them know that you have another mouth to provide food for. So sorry all of you have to be in this position in the first place
Yes I totally see where your coming from and believe me we are coming from the same place. I would totally expect him to use his food stamps (he just got them) to feed him self and chip in around the house. And this is the first time since moving away from our mom's house he has needed help like this. But it is not the first time we have housed family. Dh's family has gotten more help from us then seems possible. He is the youngest brother of 9 but you'd never know that the way 5 or 6 of them are always asking us for a place to crash for a few weeks or money for what ever they think hey need. So I expect dh to deal with my brother the same. Yes it sucks but he'd move heaven and earth if it was his brother so the least he can do is allow my brother to sleep on the couch for a bit. Sorry rant over I just dislike that he brought up all the extra water and electricity it's going to cost, right away. But a month or two ago he let two of his brothers move in with out even talking to me first (well he did talk to me but there was really no chance to say no kind of talk).

Anyway my brother said his church is going to be paying his rent for Oct and if he doesn't have a job by then he plans to move in with my mother. My brother says he's fine and has had plenty of food, and things but my mom says he's lying to me and just won't ask for help. I've been trying to offer him stuff but he won't take it so I can't make him come live here or make him eat dinner with me like my mom apparently thinks I should be doing. I'm so over the whole thing. I hope he does find a job or move in with my mom so that I'm not needed anymore. Sorry really done now.

Oh and yes we have food stamps for us too.
Krisha wife to J (07-22-08) and mom to T (08-22-09) with a new litttle one due in the spring
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Last edited by susie190; 09-16-2011 at 05:11 PM.
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