Thread: Donor mommies?
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Old 09-21-2011, 10:55 AM   #9
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carriek38
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Re: Donor mommies?

We tried ID consent for the first few IUIs, then went w/ an unknown donor. It'll be interesting when DD is older; we have connected w/ a few other donor sib families. All are same-sex couples; there is a hetero couple, but b/c they haven't told anyone they used donor sperm & don't know if they'll disclose to the child, they have chosen to not be part of the hippie love fest. I don't know how much contact we'll maintain w/ the donor sib families, but at least a couple we'll see regularly (I figure at least once a year); I think dealing w/ how to explain "brother from another mother" almost makes it easier to address the DI issue, KWIM?

Now, there were no more units & the donor was not anticipated to donate any more, so all the families who wanted another w/ the same donor were out of luck; now he's donated again, but we've found a regional cryobank that is a Xytex affiliate & significantly less expensive for regional donors than the original units...so now we're having the "well, how big of a deal is it that the share the same donor?" convo; especially since one of the regional donors is the same heritage profile & roughly the same height/weight.

You could check the donor sibling registry to see if anyone who has used that donor is ISO more units for subsequent babies...and I think of the donor vs daddy thing for hetero couples much like if "dad" isn't in the picture, but stepdad has always been the parent. "Dad" is part of the biology, but the parent is the one you trust, can depend on, who you feel secure & safe with, etc.; it doesn't have to be bad
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Carrie. Wifey to F, Mama to Baby Bear, Nugget, and Teeny.
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