09-28-2011, 09:44 AM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Saratoga Springs
Re: Left out
I'm so sorry & I can only hope that in time Melissa will recognize that this was not her fault & there was nothing she could have done to prevent it.
Originally Posted by MelissaNKris
I'm really happy that the Hopes are working on things slowly.
Unfortunately I come bearing bad news. Melissa miscarried today. We're both devastated and not sure what else to think. Poor Melisa thinks it's her fault. I certainly don't think so and desperately wish I could make it better. :*( TTYL Need sleep.
As for you, I found that both w/ DP's miscarriage and pregnancy/birth, & even PP period, the powerlessness was really the most stressful part of it. I so badly wanted to help, to make things better, to make things go according to plan, & you just can't. It's tough to find a balance where you're still "in it" & fully supportive, but you give up ownership & control b/c there's nothing in the world you can do.
TBH, Freya's birth was much more stressful & traumatic for me than it was for her...even though everything turned out okay, there were unexpected complications; I had enough knowledge to be terrified at the seriousness of the complications, but couldn't do a darn thing. And Freya didn't understand the seriousness of what was happening...and was pretty well medicated, so that didn't help. That's the role you need to resign yourself to...I tried, but I'm too much of a Type A, anal-retentive control freak to do a very good job of it .
Anyway, & good thoughts to you both; it's tough.
Carrie. Wifey to F
, Mama to E
They're here! Laken