11-20-2011, 01:50 PM
Join Date: Feb 2007
I feel like a failure this time, update in post #18 & #26
Nothing went the way I thought it would, or was hoping it would.
- I had a C/S
- I can't breastfeed, I never had any sort of supply
- I can't pump, nothing comes out
- I haven't bonded with the babies yet, they are still little strangers to me
- I may have to go back to work in a week, when FMLA runs out
I have been to the Dr. about PPD, and I started zoloft a week & a half ago, and I'm starting counseling this week too. There's no joy in anything I do, it's all such a chore, I'd say pi$$ on it & drive away if I could. I don't feel needed, wanted, or cared about. No one needs me here, for once I'm not needed to feed the babies, which hurts a lot. I really did fail them. No one can give me any answers as to why I can't breastfeed this time.
I think I might go back to work just so I don't have to deal with the crap around here everyday. DH can do it. He does a better job at everything anyway.
Mom to 4 boys
& 4 girls
, born 10/17/11!!