Re: Am I the only one?
First off, no, you are definitely not the only woman who looks at the c-section, regardless of the necessity of it or not with regret and a feeling of loss. There are plenty of us, it's a very common thing. It doesn't mean that you love your baby less or aren't happy they are there, the pain and regret is over the loss of the feeling of accomplishment of bringing your baby into the world not over the baby itself. It's like having a wonderful marriage, despite having a terrible wedding - you love your husband and the fact that the wedding was ruined doesn't change the fact that you love your husband, but you're allowed to be pissed that the wedding was ruined.
As to if you have a choice of trying for a vaginal birth again that will depend on how the section was done (transverse low incision vs classical vertical incision), and what caused the distress in the first place. If you have a standard transverse incision, and the distress that you went through is a freak thing that is not likely to recur, then yes, you should be able to have a VBAC. If they had to do a classical incision, or if the episode you had in birthing is something you're going to have again (without knowing what happend, I can't tell), then c-section may be your only option. There's very minimal increased risk in vaginal birth for women who've had previous c-sections vs those who havn't, so just having had a section would not automatically preclude you from having a vaginal birth, but the circumstances that surrounded yours might, depending on what they are. So I would talk to your doctor and do some research. Chances are very good that you still will be able to choose how you birth.