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Old 01-24-2012, 08:35 PM   #2
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Location: California
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Re: Wondering about adoption

There are various ways to go about it.

Research and find an agency you are comfortable with. It might be a national agency or one that's local to you. The agency has expectant moms come in that are thinking of placing for adoption. They work with these e-moms to help them decide if placing is what they really want to do or if they want to parent. The e-moms get to decide who they place with if they choose to go that route. Because of this, the wait can be incredibly long or very short depending on what the current e-moms are looking for in a family for their baby. As an adoptive couple, you will have a profile that the e-moms can look at.

These are not an agency, although there are facilitation companies that are run sort of like agencies. Pretty much it's a middle man that finds e-moms and helps connect them to adoptive couples. Again, the e-moms choose who they want to place with.

Through an attorney:
E-moms will sometimes contact attorneys to help them find a family to place their baby with.

Completely on your own:
Depending on your state laws, you can advertise that you are hoping to adopt. Some people have even bought ads at movie theaters that play before a movie starts or billboards indicating this. Most just go the route of having a blog and/or an online profile and by word of mouth. Once you are matched with an e-mom this route, you will need to hire an attorney to help you through the legal stuff.

We did a combination of an agency and on our own. Our agency calls what we did a designated adoption. We found the e-mom through adoption pass along cards (essentially business cards that had our adoption info on it that we gave to family and friends to pass to those they heard of that were considering placing) and she was okay with using our agency, so all our girls' birth mom did was go in and tell the agency that she wanted to place with us. They had her fill out some forms and did some counseling with her. She had a caseworker and we had our caseworker. Both were present at the hospital when she signed relinquishment of parental rights. From the time we turned in our initial paperwork to the time we were placed with the twins was about two years (it was about 18 months from the time we had all the paper work, background checks, etc and were approved to when we were placed with). One of my friends was approved to adopt and were placed with two months later, so it really varies. I suggest that whatever route you go, that you try to spread the word via word of mouth, a blog, etc, even if you are using an agency, attorney or facilitator.
Tami, mom to Brandon (3/11/03) and Edward (7/10/05) Twin girls, Emma and Ellie (3/29/11), joined our family through adoption
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