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Old 02-11-2012, 11:33 AM   #9
mommatiger23
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 11
Re: Love Letter to C-section Moms

Thank you so much for sharing. this is exactly how I feel. I've had 2 boys now and both were emergency c/s. I did everything right, labored 38 hours drug-free, and just couldn't get DS to come down past -1 station. After 2 1/2 hours of pushing I finally gave in and consented to the c/s and cried through the whole thing. It was the happiest moment of my life when I saw him for the first time, but it was surrounded by the most overwhelming feeling of failure and disappointment. It took me a long time to come to terms with his birth and accept that it was ok, that having a healthy, happy baby mattered more than whether I got my natural birth that I wanted so badly. When I had my second, it was déjà vu - 10 hours stuck at 8 cm and he wouldn't descend past -1 station. I felt such disappointment, but this time I was able to accept my fate more easily and had only happy tears in the OR. Again, I did everything I could, tried so hard for my natural birth, but it simply wasn't meant to be. I'll try again for a VBAC if we decide to have a 3rd baby, but it's not very likely. Regardless, I'll wait until I go into labor on my own, then they can do the RCS I'd it becomes necessary again. I'm still a huge advocate for natural birth, and still very much wish I'd know what it feels like to go all the way, but I'm mostly at peace with the very real possibility that I never will. As PP said, though, at the end of the day I tuck my boys into bed and I could care less how they entered the world - they're healthy and happy and mine.
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