I had to laugh out loud at your list. I'm so right there with you right now.
It helps me, sometimes, to get on my hands and knees and rock my hips for a while. It's especially useful right before bed. I may still wake up in agony a few times a night, but it helps me fall asleep a little more comfortably.
I have a handful of Vicodin for a broken rib. Half of one is also pretty useful for the really bad days.
Robbyn, SAHM to Silas, 4/3/09 and Griffin, 3/23/12